Review #10: 'One Million Years B.C.' (1966)

The thing best remembered about this Hammer fantasy is not the movie itself, but the iconic image of Raquel Welsh, which has donned many a students’ wall throughout the decades. The movie itself is a bit of fun, but relatively forgettable.

It tells the story of Tumak, a neatly-bearded cavemen. One of two sons to the tribe’s leader, he is a member of the Rock tribe who seem to spend their time jumping on top of warthogs, squabbling over chunks of meat, and having dramatic stick-fights. His overbearing father rules over the camp like a nomadic Hitler, and banishes Tumak after a squabble over chunks of warthog meat leads to a dramatic stick-fight. After walking the land for a while and meeting some of ancient Earth’s giant monsters, he walks upon a tribe who seem to exist with a more peaceful outlook on life. Also, the women in the tribe are all blonde, skimpy-dressed, and seem to shave their legs.

It’s a vision of man’s beginning as seen through the eyes of Karl Pilkington. The giant creatures created by Ray Harryhausen are, as usual, fantastic to watch, but as the film goes on I started to wonder where the creators got their crazy ideas from. Obviously, the film wasn’t ever going to strive for historical accuracy, but when I saw the scene in which a giant turtle attacks the tribe I was gazing open-mouthed at the TV. It’s the kind of lunacy that makes the Hammer films of lesser quality still so endearing. Harryhausen defended the film, stating that he “didn’t make it for professors.”  Take Harryhausen’s words and just enjoy the sights on show, be it a giant gecko, a dinosaur fight or Raquel Welch.

Directed by: Don Chaffey
Starring: Raquel Welch, John Richardson, Percy Herbert
Country: UK

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie