Review #213: 'Piranha' (2010)

Opening with Richard Dreyfuss fishing on a lake, listening to the sea-shanty "Show Me the Way to Go Home" on the radio (reference noted), the bottom of the lake is split by a quake, which opens a Mesolithic underwater lake, where the ancient fish of the title escape to cause havoc at Lake Victoria at the start of that horrendous American school holiday, spring break. If you are unaware of the voyeuristic nature of these college "parties", they essentially involve guys standing round boats with video cameras, filming exhibitionist college girls as they show their tits.

Schlock exploitation director, Don Dohler, was noted as saying all you need for a cheap horror film, is blood, boobs and beast. This is so true of this expensive nod to the proper grindhouse horror films of by-gone days. British "actress" (I use this very loosely), Kelly Brook, is introduced perfectly in the film, and illustrates the only reason she's been hired, when Laura Forester (Brooklynn Proulx) states, "nice boobs". This is in the opening, where Jake Forester (Steven R. McQueen) meets Jerry O'Connell's porn director, Derrick Jones. Jake is employed to travel with them to locate the best sights on the lake for filming (coincidentally, Jake is a local).

Bizarrely, Richard Dreyfuss's body is discovered by local Sheriff, Julie Forrester (Elizabeth Shue), but it seems as if this gruesome discovery is left without much notice. This scene also marks a second Jaws reference as an eel protrudes from his eye socket, Ben Gardner style. As it becomes apparent that there are some man-eating fish loose in the water, the obviousness of the plot is all too apparent. People get eaten.

The lame gimmickry of the 3D (I only saw the 2D version) is particularly ridiculous. It's a thorough throwback to 3D's eighties incarnation, as puke, beer, boobs and monsters are thrown at the screen. There are some quite inventively gruesome sequences of flesh being torn from skin; but not even a highly histrionic performance by Christopher Lloyd (in proper Back to the Future (1985), Doc mode), can save this derivative remake of Joe Dante's Roger Corman studio 1978 original, which, with a great screenplay by John Sayles, was utterly superior, with a much smaller budget. It certainly does fill that Don Dohler quoter though. there are gallons of blood, masses of monsters, and a healthy dollop of big, mostly porn star, boobs. A film that should be in the top ten for any 14 year old boy!


Directed by: Alexandre Aja
Starring: Steven R. McQueen, Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss
Country: USA

Rating: **

Marc Ivamy