Review #465: 'William & Kate' (2011)

It really serves me right that I had to watch this film. When the Royal Wedding raped every possible human sense in my body a year ago, some news reports showed clips of this laughable made-for-TV movie shown to American audiences, much to many a news-casters amusement. It seemed ironic since the rest of their news report was covering this sham, mock-fairytale wedding that seemed to have the plebs and Royalists alike masturbating in the street at the sight of a rich-boy who happened to be our future King taking mere upper-class Katie Middleton up the aisle (that isn't a euphemism by the way). I laughed and got hold of the film thinking it was so bad I had to see it. But when the Wedding euphoria died down, it lingered in my mind that it was still skulking amongst my film collection, and since I've started choosing my films at random, I've wondered when this might crop up. Well, early in the week, my fears became a reality.

The story obviously follows young Prince William (Nico Evers-Swindell) as he packs his bags and heads to St. Andrews to study, saying goodbye to his father Prince Charles (an embarrassed looking Ben Cross). He is swarmed by girls and hangers-on, and eventually befriends Ian (Jonathan Patrick Moore), and Kate Middleton (Camilla Luddington) who he in a class with. Their romance takes off, as the film switches from William's desire to keep their relationship private, to the eventual media frenzy after the announcement. Kate struggles with constant paparazzi attention, and William's commitment to his 'royal life' becomes a problem.

I feel almost bad tearing this film apart, as its clearly under no illusions of being anything by complete bull-shit. But bull-shit it is - a laughable, Americanised production that romanticises every possible aspect of the story which is surely an indication of how American's view the British (namely the English). The awful (mainly American) actors struggle with a methodical, cliche-ridden script which squeezes every formulaic aspect out of the genre (they even have a kiss in the rain). It's especially important to point out how laughable the fact is that the film highlights the intrusion the mass media have on their lives, when they just want a 'normal' life, when this film is precisely that. It is, however, quite funny, unintentionally I may add, with many cringe-worthy moments of pure awfulness, especially the scene where William watches Kate in a fashion show ("she's hot!"). Pure tosh.


Directed by: Mark Rosman
Starring: Camilla Luddington, Nico Evers-Swindell, Samantha Whittaker, Jonathan Patrick Moore, Ben Cross
Country: UK/USA

Rating: *

Tom Gillespie