Review #539: 'Ted' (2012)

It was only a matter of time before Seth MacFarlane, creator of "it's like that time when we..." cartoon sitcom Family Guy and the vastly superior American Dad! got a shot at the movies. After all, Family Guy spends most of its time playing homage to, referencing or mocking the movies, while at the same time stealing most of its ideas from them. Clearly an avid viewer of popcorn cinema (as well as the musicals), MacFarlane reverts back to the 1980's with Ted, when buddy-cop action-comedies ruled for a prolific yet short period of time. Only rather than, say, a loose-cannon white cop and a buttoned-up black cop, here we have a pot-head man-child and his wise-cracking teddy bear best friend.

Young outcast John Bennett has trouble making friends, and after being bought a giant teddy bear for Christmas, he wishes for his new friend Ted to be his friend forever. The magic of Christmas (or something) grants his wish, and he wakes the next morning to find Ted alive and speaking. He becomes a national celebrity, only twenty-seven years later, John (Mark Wahlberg) is stuck in a monotonous job while Ted (voice by MacFarlane, sounding like Peter Griffin) has become a beer-swilling, bong-toking layabout. They are still best of friends, and John is happy in a relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis), only Ted's behaviour goes too far one night when he brings back a party of hookers, one of whom shits on the floor, that leads to Lori growing increasingly impatient with John's childish attitude.

If there's one good thing that can be said about Seth MacFarlane, is that he knows how to write buddy moments. Stewie and Brian's Road To... episodes in Family Guy prove some of the series' headlights, playing on the bizarre and unconventional aspects of their relationship, bringing originality to the tired idea of a mismatched duo that care for each other deep down. It also manages to show a warmer side to his generally unpleasant (yet often funny) sense of humour, and this is one of Ted's strengths. John and Ted's interactions tend to be warm and amusing, as they share their love of pot, beer and Flash Gordon (1980), that brings the best out of Wahlberg's underrated subtle comedic talent (something was best displayed in I Heart Huckabees (2004)).

Yet the familiar story of a romance getting in the way of a bromance provides no originality, especially in terms of set-pieces. It resorts to a lazy car-chase finale that wraps up a rather silly sub-plot involving Giovanni Ribisi's creepy Donny abducting Ted to give to his even creepier son, that lacks anything resembling imagination or inspiration. Another sub-plot includes Lori being hit on by her generic rich-boy boss Rex (Joel McHale), a character that looks as if he's walked straight out of Family Guy. It's all just a rather disappointing lazy experience, given MacFarlane's obvious knowledge of his medium, and really only has one memorable moment that involves John meeting Flash Gordon himself, Sam J. Jones. The rest is a mish-mash of crude humour that works less favourably on screen than it does in a cartoon, spouted by the frequently annoying Ted who is nothing more than a more obnoxious Peter Griffin. Kunis is sweet and likeable as ever though, and Wahlberg's likeability plus a (disappointingly minuscule) appearance from Patrick Warburton provide some warmth.


Directed by: Seth MacFarlane
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie