Review #881: 'Transformers: The Movie' (1986)

I was enticed into watching Transformers: The Movie after watching an episode of the surprisingly funny The Goldbergs, currently airing for the first time in the UK. In the episode, the physically underdeveloped nerd of the family watches in awe as the movie version of his favourite weekend cartoon plays out across the cinema screen. His face soon turns to sheer horror when his beloved heroes are routinely blown away by the evil Decepticons, and I was immediately transported back in time. Not only does the bespectacled Adam Goldberg (played by Sean Giambrone) remind me of my older brother, but I instantly recalled my own horror at seeing the likes of Ratchet, Ironhide and Prowl being casually blown to pieces.

Your enjoyment of Transformers: The Movie really depends on whether you roll your eyes or clap your hands like a child at the sound of un-ironic 80's cheese blaring over sketchy animation of giant robots. No will claim that this is a work of high art or even narratively consistent, but if you're even remotely invested in the ensemble of Autobots, the ensuing blood-bath (oil-bath?) will still no doubt be shocking. Characters are dismembered, decapitated and shot execution-style. Casual viewers or newcomers may have trouble distinguishing one Transformer from the next (something that the live-action Michael Bay movies struggle with), but the relentless carnage at least makes for a refreshing experience to the usual child-friendly fare.

It also has Unicron, the big bad guy who is so huge he transforms into a planet. Voiced by Orson Welles in one of his last feature films, his operatic, ham-fisted growl combined with that opening tune still has the ability to give me chills. While Unicron commits planetary genocide in the opening moments, Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) plans an all-out assault on the Decepticons. Prime's opposite number Megatron (Frank Welker) hears of the plans and attacks first, leaving the Autobots scattered and on the defensive. Following an attack on Autobot City, the Autbots flee with Megatron wounded and blasted into outer space. But Unicron wants the Matrix, a talisman of great power currently in the hands of Autobot Ultra Magnus (Robert Stack), and so re-creates Megatron as Galvatron (Leonard Nimoy) to recover it.

The narrative consists of little more than one action scene after the next, full of explosions, gun-play, and fan-favourites the Dinobots cracking-wise. While these moments are generally entertaining and lovingly realised, they soon become quite tiresome. When good guy Hot Rod (Judd Nelson) lands on planet Junk and is attacked by the motorcycle-riding natives led by Wreck-Gar (Eric Idle), I just longed for some of them to sit down and have a conversation. This leads to a disappointingly underwhelming climax as Hot Rod, Galvatron and Unicron finally face-off. The animation is rather jittery but incredibly stylish, in a style seemingly lost with modern-day cartoons. I may be nit-picking, but it's only because I believe that Transformers: The Movie deserves to be taken seriously, and although it's far from perfect, it will always retain a place in the hearts of us children of the 80's.


Directed by: Nelson Shin
Voices: Judd Nelson, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Leonard Nimoy, Orson Welles, Eric Idle
Country: USA/Japan

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie