Saturday 29 December 2018

Review #1,434: 'The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)' (2015)

When The Human Centipede was released back in 2009, it became an instant talking point with both gore-hounds giddy at the prospect of such a repugnant idea actually making its way onto our screens, and those concerned with the idea of cinema reaching the very bottom of the barrel for the last dregs of bad taste. Of course, the result was nowhere near as horrific as many had thought. While it may have featured a scene of characters passing faeces directly from bottom to mouth, the whole thing was rather amusing, if ineptly made. Director Tom Six was keen to ensure that the hype wouldn't die down for the sequel, and did so by creating one of the vilest and most humourless shockers in horror history, and undoubtedly one of worst excuses for a movie ever made. It's a relief that humour has found its way back for part three, as is the presence of the word 'final' in its title. But that's where the positives end, as this is yet another button-pushing, attention-seeking vanity-project for Six.

Psychopathic prison warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser) rules over his inmates with an iron fist, punishing those that step out of line by breaking bones, removing testicles, and waterboarding with boiling water. With the violence spinning out of control, Governor Hughes (Eric Roberts) pays Boss a visit, informing the maniac that if he doesn't get a hold on things soon he will be fired and replaced. Having seen his brutal methods fail to bring the prisoners under control, Boss finally listens to his diminutive accountant Butler (Laurence R. Harvey) and his problem-solving idea. Armed with DVDs of The Human Centipede 1 and 2, Butler's scheme is to force the inmates to live out their sentences arse-to-mouth with their fellow incarcerates in one long, horrifying... well, you get the idea. With disgraced, struck-off prison doctor Jones (Clayton Rohner) on board in the hope of keeping his job, Boss and Butler even bring in Tom Six himself to discuss whether or not the director's claim of the procedure being 100% medically accurate is in fact correct.

It was admittedly an interesting move to make The Human Centipede 2 about a disturbed individual's reaction to seeing the first movie, but performing the same trick again simply reeks of narcissism, especially considering Six's decision to place himself within the narrative. While the second entry aimed to simply upset and disgust its audience with no trace of nuance, part three is all about the humour. Although rather than laughing, you'll be checking the running time to see how much you have left to endure. To Six, comedy is all about shouting, and Laser screams, rants and swears for the 100 minutes, stopping occasionally to munch on some dried clitorises imported from Africa or force his assistant Daisy (porn actress Bree Olson) to perform oral sex on him. Anyone voluntarily watching this film are here for one reason - to see the human centipede. It appears around the 85 minute mark, so there's a lot of arm-waving and general unpleasantness to get through before the big pay-off, which only appears on screen for about 5 minutes. I never thought I'd complain about the lack of poor souls being monstrously stitched together to form one grotesque digestive system, but that's The Human Centipede for you. Hopefully this series can now be laid to rest on the cinematic dung-pile.


Directed by: Tom Six
Starring: Dieter Laser, Laurence R. Harvey, Eric Roberts, Robert LaSardo, Bree Olson
Country: USA

Rating: *

Tom Gillespie



The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015) on IMDb

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