Review #787: 'The Guard' (2011)

To paraphrase The Guard's FBI Agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle), this movie is either really motherfuckin' smart, or really motherfuckin' dumb. Having laughed my way throughout the majority of it, my feet are firmly in the former camp, with Brendan Gleeson's towering performance and writer/director John Michael McDonagh's extremely witty script make this one of the most under-appreciated movies of 2011. It is, on the surface, a simple fish out of water story crossed with a mismatched buddy comedy. But with a self awareness that brings to mind Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), The Guard often feels like it's more intelligent than it's letting on, similar in many ways to it's morally shady protagonist.

Gerry Boyle (Gleeson) is not your everyday Garda (Gaelic for 'policeman') . As he expressionlessly watches a car load of weed-toking yoofs crash and die, he helps himself to the insides of their pockets and finds some acid, which he promptly swallows without thinking twice. He cares about his terminally ill mother, so we know he's at least not all bad. His laid-back attitude to law enforcement is threatened by the arrival of the eager Aidan McBride (Rory Keenan) from Dublin, as well as a murder that may point to the work of an occult serial killer. There's also more drugs on the streets than ever before, but Gerry enjoys those almost as much as he enjoys his hookers.

If the witty yet crass dialogue spouting from this grumpy collections of Irishmen sounds somewhat familiar, then this is probably because John Michael's brother Martin McDonagh penned and directed In Bruges (2008), which also starred Gleeson. In my opinion, The Guard is better and certainly funnier. Most of the humour stems from Gerry himself and the way he plays with the characters he interacts with as much as the audience themselves. With the news that international drug traffickers are heading to Connemara to make a multi-million (or billion, no-one seems to know) dollar deal, FBI Agent Everett arrives to brief the guard's on the situation. When the dealers appear on the projector as Liam Cunningham and Mark Strong, Gerry's response is "But I thought all drug-dealers were black?".

It may seem somewhat bad taste humour, but the way Gleeson delivers his lines, and the reaction by Cheadle (who plays the straight-man extremely well), make for comedy gold. Gerry is everything Everett despises - bigoted, ignorant - but the loathing changes to curiosity as he witnesses Gerry do some good police work and appears to be the only one who cares. Is he putting on an act to catch people off-guard? Is he really an idiot with a natural instinct for detective work? Or is he a bit both? I can forgive it's formulaic shoot-out ending for suspicion that it may be mocking the type of films it's emulating. After all, this is a fish-out-of-water-story where the main character verbally acknowledges that he's in a fish-out-of-water story. I'm sticking with really motherfuckin' smart.


Directed by: John Michael McDonagh
Starring: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle, Liam Cunningham, Mark Strong, Rory Keenan, Fionnula Flanagan, Katarina Cas
Country: Ireland

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #143: 'Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure' (1984)

George Lucas made a shrewd marketing move in the early eighties; changing the creatures to feature in 1983's Return of the Jedi from forest-dwelling Wookies, to small, cute and furry Ewoks. Lucas knew where the majority of his money was coming from: Merchandise. Ewoks were the cross-gender Star Wars 'commodity'. Figurines could be manufactured for the boys, so that they may interact with their existing toys; and a cuddly version could also be produced. However, after the release of Return of the Jedi, they no longer had a vehicle of promotion. So, Lucas pens "An Ewok Adventure" (story only), and cheaply produces a TV-movie.

Mace (Eric Walker), a mini-Skywalker, and his little sister Cindel (Aubree Miller), a sickening Curly-fucking-Sue, are stranded on the forest moon of Endor after their space cruiser crashed. Their parents Jeremitt (Guy Boyd) and Caterine (Fionnula Flanagan) have been kidnapped by the giant Gorax. The Ewoks discover the ship and take the kids back to their village. Eventually they join forces and form a quest to save the parents. This is aimed directly at kids of course. In 1985, both the "sequel" TV movie Ewoks: The Battle for Endor, and Ewoks: The Animated Series were produced, further exacerbating the kids "nag factor" element of toy marketing.

Oh, how times have changed! Well, I can certainly see this crass cash-in for what it is now that I'm a pseudo-adult. But at the age of 8, this was related to Star Wars. It could well have just been Chewbacca shitting in a basket (or even The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)), but I would have loved it anyway. In hindsight, yes the Ewoks were rubbish anyway. But I admit this was not the case at the time (the shame!). What's even more shameful, is now that I've just watched it for the second time, I have now wasted three hours of my life on it. There are a few, good-for-the-time special effects. But this does not redeem a product of greedy capitalism.


Directed by: John Korty
Starring: Eric Walker, Warwick Davis, Fionnula Flanagan, Burl Ives
Country: USA

Rating: **

Marc Ivamy