Review #1,409: 'R.I.P.D.' (2013)

Ryan Reynolds may have gone out of his way to try and obliterate the memories of some of the terrible movie choices he's made over the years during the post-credit scenes of Deadpool 2, but the sheer scale of the misfires he's been caught up in never ceases to amaze. One of the standouts in his filmography of horrors is R.I.P.D., an adaptation of Peter M. Lemkov's comic book of the same name which comes across as a misguided mash-up of Men in Black and Ghostbusters and whose biggest boast is that it's probably just a tiny notch better than how terrible you've no doubt heard it is. The Men in Black comparisons are unavoidable from the get-go, and while the comic was released just as the love for Barry Sonnenfeld's smash-hit was at its highest, Robert Schwentke's adaptation has no excuse for such lazy regurgitation. Seriously, if you replace Will Smith with Ryan Reynolds, Tommy Lee Jones with Jeff Bridges, and aliens for monsters, you have the same movie. Only this isn't good.

Crooked Boston detective Nick Walker (Reynolds) buries gold stolen during active duty in his back garden, hoping the loot will provide a nice rest egg for him and his wife Julia (Stephanie Szotak) in the future. After deciding he doesn't need the money or the guilt on his back, Nick decides to turn it over into evidence, but not before revealing his intentions to partner Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon). During a police raid, Bobby informs Nick that he cannot allow the gold to be handed in, and shoots his partner dead. But death is not the end, Nick learns, and on his journey into the afterlife he is hauled into the office of the Rest in Peace Department, a force designed to capture any souls who refuse to pass over and instead remain on Earth, known as 'deados'. His humourless boss Mildred Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker) partners Nick with rugged former United States Marshal and Civil War veteran Roychepus 'Roy' Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges), a gruff figure from the days of the Wild West who speaks like a cowboy with a mouth full of cotton balls.

As R.I.P.D. was the beginning of what the producers hoped would lead on to a fully-fledged franchise, there's a lot of explaining to do. Before the plot involving the Staff of Jericho, the end of the universe as we know it, and the obligatory sky beam even kicks in, there are characters to introduce, rules to set in place and a mythology to establish. When the film isn't busy reeling off exposition, it's a chaotic mish-mash of jarring tones and woefully-realised action, as Nick and Roy bicker their way through the city searching for their targets, employing seemingly random questions and, for some reason, curry, to expose the undead's true, monstrous form. Bouncing aimlessly between slapstick comedy, tedious drama, endless chase scenes, and some hideously rendered CGI action, R.I.P.D. is a cesspit of half-baked ideas. Such hideousness could even be forgiven if the film raised the odd chuckle, or threw in a surprise every now and then, or it's lead star wasn't sleepwalking through the entire thing. Bridges, who actually seems to be relishing the chance to flex his goofy chops, certainly tries his best to liven things up, but even a seasoned Oscar winner isn't enough to save this from the cinematic rubbish pile.


Directed by: Robert Schwentke
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Bacon, Mary-Louise Parker, Stephanie Szostak
Country: USA

Rating: *

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,344: 'Deadpool 2' (2018)

In the years Ryan Reynolds spent trying to persuade 20th Century Fox to greenlight a Deadpool movie since the abomination that was the character's first big-screen appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine in 2009, nobody quite expected the reception it would eventually receive once the 'Merc with a Mouth' was finally unleashed onto unsuspecting audiences. Least of all Fox executives, who only gave it the go-ahead when footage was leaked onto the internet and fans went crazy. When 2016's Deadpool raked in over $700 million and became the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time, the suits were soon rubbing their hands together and dreaming up a sequel. Creative differences led to original director Tim Miller departing, and in stepped John Wick co-director David Leitch, with Reynolds also receiving a writing credit for the follow-up.

After a marketing campaign that was even more meta than before and teases of comic-book favourites gracing the big-screen for the first time, Deadpool 2 arrives with high expectations, not only to deliver on the comedy side, but to further subvert a genre that now seems to dominate the big release dates each year, with Marvel alone delivering three features a year. So does the sequel improve on the first? Not really. Although Deadpool 2 increases the violence, cursing and fourth-wall breaks, there's a slight whiff of corporate tampering to the final product. The Merc's first solo outfit loosely hung itself around the faintest of plots, with time jumps switching between Wade Wilson's journey from simple mercenary to cancer-ridden super anti-hero, and his quest for revenge against the man who took pleasure in torturing him over a lengthy period of time. The low-budget, guerrilla-esque approach was all part of its charm, and the role fit Reynolds' smirking sense of humour like a glove.

Deadpool 2 received a much higher budget and allowed for even more creative freedom for the writers, but in doing so has lost some of what made the original so refreshing and punkish. The story involves time-travelling cyborg Cable (John Brolin), who journeys back to our time to assassinate a young mutant (played by Julian Dennison) before he can grow up to become the monster responsible for murdering his family. Deadpool, who is still being courted by the X-Men and recovering from his own personal tragedy, takes it upon himself to protect the boy, who he feels can be saved and turned away from his fate. Along with old pals Colossus (Stefan Kapicic), Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand), Weasel (T.J. Miller) and Blind Al (Leslie Uggams), Deadpool puts together a team he dubs 'X-Force' to help him take down such a formidable foe. Can our hero overcome this seemingly unstoppable man-machine with a gun whose power turns all the way up to 11? And more importantly, is dubstep still a thing in the future?

There is far more story to sink your teeth into this time around, and there are unexpected emotional beats for a character who is essentially a pop culture joke machine. But as it goes with most sequels, bigger rarely means better, and Deadpool 2 ends up becoming the type of film it's supposed to be making fun of. There is plenty of action but there is a weightlessness to it, which wouldn't be a problem if the director wasn't at least half responsible for the crunching physicality of John Wick. That said, Reynolds and fellow writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick keep the laughs coming thick and fast, whether it be Reynolds' wink-winking at the camera or the gross-out physical comedy, with Brolin proving to be the perfect straight-man to Reynolds' blabbermouth. One particularly memorable scene had me crying, despite it ultimately being a rip-off of another movie I won't mention for fear of spoilers. Movie-goers may be divided but comic enthusiasts will appreciate the service they receive, with countless Easter Eggs and in-jokes to spot, as well as the inclusion of the likes of Shatterstar (Lewis Tan), a rather goofy hero that nobody ever believed would make it onto the big screen. Reynolds can rest on his nest egg for at least another film.


Directed by: David Leitch
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, Morena Baccarin, Julian Dennison, Zazie Beetz, T.J. Miller, Stefan Kapicic, Brianna Hildebrand, Leslie Uggams, Eddie Marsan
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,336: 'The Hitman's Bodyguard' (2017)

The production companies behind The Hitman's Bodyguard, a buddy comedy starring Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson, tried their very best to achieve an R-rating. That is, to throw in every swear word under the sun and puncture this otherwise generic and old-fashioned action flick with bone-crunching violence and CGI blood-spurting. But this is no Shane Black movie. Directed by The Expendables 3's Patrick Hughes and with a script by relative newcomer Tom O'Connor, The Hitman's Bodyguard fails to find the correct balance between humour, action and tone to warrant comparison to the likes of The Last Boy Scout or, more recently, The Nice Guys. The film simply lets the actors do what they are known best for and hopes for a positive outcome.

It begins by introducing UK-based security expert Michael Bryce (Reynolds), who prides himself on a triple-A rating and the fact that none of the rich types who employ his services have died under his protection. But his luxurious life and untarnished reputation comes to a grinding halt when a Japanese arms dealer receives a bullet through the brain. A couple of years later, Bryce has been demoted to protecting scumbags like the cocaine-snorting businessman Mr. Seifert (Richard E. Grant). He sees an opportunity to redeem himself when Interpol agent and ex-girlfriend Amelia Roussel (Elodie Yung) tasks him with transporting notorious hitman Darius Kincaid (Jackson) from Manchester to Amsterdam so he can testify in court. Only the man he is testifying against, Belarusian dictator Vladislav Dukhovich (a sleepwalking Gary Oldman), uses all of his power to disrupt their passage.

The two lead stars, regardless of how much fun it's looks like they're having, fail to inject much life into The Hitman's Bodyguard. Reynolds does his deadpan motormouth thing (Bryce is basically Deadpool without the costume or ability to regenerate limbs) and Jackson gets to scream "motherfucker!" a hell of a lot, but this simply isn't enough to justify the lack of any real jokes. There's the odd well-earned snigger, but you have to get through a lot of shouting to reach them, with Salma Hayek receiving the most thankless task as Kilcaid's sweary incarcerated wife. The action also fails to deliver. Although a boat chase through Amsterdam's canals is just preposterous enough to fleetingly entertain, the fights lack physicality and the gun-play is deprived of invention, with little real threat from the endless waves of Dukhovich's leather jacket-wearing goons. When a film feels the need to insert a fart joke, you know you're in trouble.


Directed by: Patrick Hughes
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Elodie Yung, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida, Richard E. Grant
Country: USA/Hong Kong/Bulgaria/Netherlands

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,217: 'Life' (2017)

When promotion started for Daniel Espinosa's space-set horror, a popular fan theory emerged that the movie was in fact an origin film for Sony's upcoming Venom movie, in which an alien symbiote arrives on Earth and attaches itself to Spider-Man, or so the comics and Sam Raimi's terrible Spider-Man 3 go. It speaks volumes about fans' eagerness to attach an original story to some ongoing franchise as part of a bigger, expanding world, as is the fad nowadays brought on by the success of Marvel's nine-year strong 'cinematic universe'. Life is not a Venom origin movie, but is in fact a throwback to popular, adult genre movies that flourished in the 1970s and 80s, although the potential for sequels is purposely there. That said, you have no doubt seen this movie before, as it rests comfortably into a well-worn formula and has no qualms about its own lack of originality.

The crew of the International Space Station manage to pull of the dangerous feat of capturing a fast-moving probe returning from Mars carrying soil samples. The six-strong team, captained by Russian Ekaterina (Olga Dihovichnaya), quickly discover that the package contains evidence of alien life in the form of dormant cells. Biologist Dr. Hugh Derry (Ariyon Bakare) manages to revive one cell by turning up the temperature, witnessing the alien's rapid growth and quick-learning. Back on Earth, school children name the discovery 'Calvin', but on the space station the creature becomes aggressive, attacking Derry and causing the rest of the crew, consisting of medical officer David Jordan (Jake Gyllenhaal), quarantine officer Miranda North (Rebecca Ferguson), pilot Sho Murakami (Hiroyuki Sanada) and wise-cracking engineer Rory Adams (Ryan Reynolds), to flee for their lives. Soon enough, preventing Calvin from reaching Earth becomes the top priority.

Drawing inspiration from the swirling camerawork of Gravity, the horror bursts of Event Horizon, the culturally diverse line-up of Sunshine, and, most of all, the claustrophobic man-versus-beast panic of genre classic Alien, Life offers nothing new to the genre, and will likely be all but forgotten in a few years. If you're expecting atmosphere, characterisation, gore or surprises, this is not that movie. However, your enjoyment of the film will depend on how quickly you come to accept the formulaic way it goes about its business, and the sooner the better. While it's nothing like the dizzying innovation of Gravity, Espinosa's film offers some spectacular visuals, blurring the line between reality and CGI. It also feels short, which is always a good thing. Life is a time-waster; something to switch your brain off to and kill 100 minutes. You may wait for a twist or the story to change direction, but it doesn't, and when the film attempts to deliver a surprise, chances are you'll have already guessed it.


Directed by: Daniel Espinosa
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dihovichnaya
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,207: 'The Proposal' (2009)

From the opening moments of sitcom-inspired office hi-jinks in this plinky-plonky rom-com, the outcome is never in doubt. When we first glimpse our leads - beautiful people Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds - the inevitability of how this film will leave us is cemented even further. There's a set formula to these kinds of movies, and knows well enough just how the target audience it so aggressively pursues wants to be left feeling. The key to a decent rom-com is having a funny script; one that will have you laughing and hoping the mismatched couple will finally realise their love for one another to care about how predictable the whole things is. Anne Fletcher's The Proposal does none of these things, and instead betrays the likeability of its leads by having little zip, and keeping them apart for what seems like a large chunk of the movie.

Margaret Tate (Bullock) is executive editor-in-chief in a successful New York-based publishing company. She has an icy reputation in the office, and her panicked underlings frequently alert the others of her arrival via group e-mail. Her dedicated but overworked assistant Andrew Paxton (Reyolds) is the only one who tolerates her, and that is because he hopes to win himself a promotion through his loyalty and hard work. Margaret also happens to be Canadian, and after a minor violation of the terms of her work visa, she finds herself facing deportation and without the job she has worked so hard to get. In a panic, she announces that she has been seeing Andrew for the past year and the happy couple are soon to be married, much to Andrew's dismay. Sensing foul play, U.S. immigration agent Mr. Gilbertson (Denis O'Hare) keeps a close watch on them, forcing Margaret to accompany Andrew to a family get-together in Sitka, Alaska.

Despite never really convincing as a couple, and neither really having moments of clarity that will help us understand when the script starts to push the two closer together, the two leads are a joy to watch. Bullock is now a legend of the genre, and Reynolds demonstrates the cheeky charisma he wouldn't be allowed to fully embrace until 2016's Deadpool. It's solid proof that the fault lies with the material they're given. Once in Alaska, The Proposal becomes a sickly loop of increasingly bizarre comedy set-pieces, including a moment where Margaret must fend off an eagle attacking the yappy family dog. It's a sea of white, middle-class faces, and the only person of colour seems to be the Hispanic Ramone (Oscar Nunez) who, in a slight racist twist, works just about every job in town from store-owner to stripper. There's also the dull sub-plot involving Andrew's father (Craig T. Nelson), who wants his son to ditch his New York adventure to join the family business, which exists solely to give Andrew something to do away from Margaret. The stars deserve much better.


Directed by: Anne Fletcher
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Mary Steenburgen, Craig T. Nelson, Betty White, Denis O'Hare, Malin Akerman
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,018: 'Deadpool' (2016)

It is evident for around 5 minutes of Gavin Hood's disastrous X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) that Fox were onto something with their casting of Ryan Reynolds as the gobby mercenary Wade Wilson aka Deadpool. That was until he had his mouth sown together and turned into a super weapon before he could resemble anything like the character who had garnered a legion of loyal readers in Marvel's comic-book world. Talks of a reboot were in the air even since, and despite Reynolds' public support of the movie and obvious fan anticipation, it felt like it would never happen.

With Fox now piecing their beloved and highly lucrative franchise back together following Days of Future Past's re-setting of the timeline (deleting Hood's movie and Brett Ratner atrocious X-Men: The Last Stand in the process), the 'Merc with a Mouth' finally arrived to glowing reviews, fan adoration, and a box-office taking that was beyond anyone's expectations. The early trailers teased that the character would be at his foul-mouthed, sarcastic best, and although Deadpool is set firmly within the same universe as Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, it certainly doesn't follow the same rules.

Deadpool is all about Deadpool, and so the plot can be summed up within the same sentence. The climax essentially plays out throughout the entire movie, with Ryan Reynolds' already-suited-up hero ambushing a gang of bad guys on a freeway and taking them out in various gruesome ways. We flash back to his time working as muscle-for-hire in New York, where he meets escort Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) at a bar and the two fall in love. Wade soon learns he has aggressive cancer, and, without Vanessa's knowledge, volunteers for an experimental treatment that he soon learns consists of torture at the hands of Ajax (Ed Skrein), who hopes to awaken latent mutant genes in his subjects. He escapes the lab with the ability to heal but permanently disfigured, with a plan to take revenge and win back Vanessa.

A lot of Deadpool's success has been put down to its R rating, and the film certainly flaunts its freedom to make dick jokes and kill its characters in a variety of gruesome ways. While this may be the case to some degree, it seems that people forget Deadpool is, most importantly, offering something different in an already-overcrowded superhero market. While the filthy sense of humour does grate at times, especially whenever Wade's friend Weasel (T.J. Miller) is on screen, Deadpool is anything but the traditional brooding superhero with the weight of the world on their shoulders, he is selfish and self-absorbed yet motivated by his love for Vanessa, repeatedly breaking the fourth wall and informing us that he is fully aware of his role in the movie. When he is dragged by X-Men Colossus (Stefan Kapicic) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) to Professor X's mansion, he wonders whether it will be Patrick Stewart or James McAvoy awaiting him.

But the low-key approach, although refreshing, also shrinks the movie. The fragmented narrative offers a slightly new take on the origin movie, but take this away and the film still falls into the same genre trappings. There's the love interest, the life-changing experiment, the forgettable bad guy - all tropes covered in a hundred films before it. So without an enticing plot to sink the teeth into, a lot falls on the charisma of Reynolds as a character intended to provoke a strong reaction. Thankfully, Reynolds gives his best performance, a role worthy of his natural screen presence and slightly idiosyncratic delivery. Whether the humour is for you or not (it certainly made me laugh out loud throughout), you have to admire director Tim Miller's belief in such a risky project, and it will hopefully open the gates to the possibility of more adult superhero movies in a genre always in need of fresh input.


Directed by: Tim Miller
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, T.J. Miller, Ed Skrein, Gina Carano, Stefan Kapicic, Brianna Hildebrand
Country: USA/Canada

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #748: 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine' (2009)

It was only a matter of time before most people's favourite X-Man, Logan a.k.a. Wolverine, got his own stand-alone movie. After Brett Ratner's atrocious X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) almost killed the franchise in it's tracks, 2009 was the perfect time for not so much a re-boot, but a fresh take, employing the Oscar-winning director of 2005's wonderful Tsotsi, Gavin Hood, to tackle the indestructible mutant's origin story. The result is an ugly mess of meaningless CGI, repetitive fights, corny dialogue and an over-abundance of dull supporting mutants.

After taking an extended holiday following the events of William Stryker's (Danny Huston) violent Team X mission in Africa, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) is happily living as a shirtless lumberjack in Canada with his beautiful girlfriend Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). His estranged brother, Victor a.k.a. Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber), seems to be picking off members of Team X, so Wolverine is approached by Stryker to help with the problem. At first he declines, but when he finds Kayla's bloodied body in the forest bearing the marks of Victor, he joins Stryker who implants the alien metal adamantium into his body.

Origin stories are always difficult, and only Iron Man (2008) seems to have dodged the problem of making the creation of the superhero more interesting than what they can do with their newly-found powers. Origins takes the approach of practically ignoring it completely. We have a brief scene at the start with Logan and Victor as kids, and then a montage of the brothers fighting in the American Civil War, World War II and Vietnam. Within minutes, we have skipped well over 100 years of Wolverine's life (it appears he was born around 1840). It's main focus is the rivalry between Logan and Victor, and Schreiber snarls his way through some dodgy lines and somehow manages to come through unscathed.

Truth is, Origins has more in common with the previous X-Men films than any other superhero kick-start film, filling scenes with forgettable mutants such as Agent Zero (Daniel Henney), Fred Dukes a.k.a. The Blob (Kevin Durand), John Wraith (Will.i.am) and Chris Bradley a.k.a. Bolt (Dominic Monaghan). I would have happily paid extra to see more of Gambit (Taylor Kitsch), who was no doubt added to appease fans but is criminally ignored once he shows his face, and Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), whose story arc left me dumbfounded at the missed opportunity. Because of this, Wolverine is almost left out to dry. Normally, Jackman's charisma shines through, but here he just scowls.

All in all, this is no better or worse than those recent comic-book hero disasters Ghost Rider (2007) and Jonah Hex (2010). The first two X-Men films, directed by Bryan Singer, were really quite good, but the franchise (at this point) had become nothing more than a wad of money thrown at the screen in the hope that the crash-bang-wallop action scenes would keep the audience distracted enough to not realise what they are watching is a large pile of crap. Schreiber at least keeps things lively, and Hood is wise enough to keep things well below the two hour mark. But that is scant praise indeed, and the best thing about the film is that the sight of Wolverine chopping wood brings to mind Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.


Directed by: Gavin Hood
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, Will.i.am, Kevin Durand, Daniel Henney, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Ryan Reynolds
Country: USA/UK

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #254: 'Green Lantern' (2011)

Disgraced aircraft pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is chosen by a green ring to be Earth's representative in the Green Lantern Corps - a police force that spans the galaxy that protects the universe from evil. The ring gives him the power to materialise his imagination into a green force powered by will. The ring was brought to Earth by a crash-landed alien, Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison) who had, in the past, defeated a deadly foe named Parallax (voiced by Clancy Brown), who after escaping from his prison, attacked Abin Sur and caused him to flee his planet. Meanwhile, scientist Hector Hammond (Peter Sargaard), son of Senator Robert Hammond (Tim Robbins), is brought in to perform the autopsy on Abin Sur. A part of Parallax that has lingered with his corpse latches on to Hector, causing him to develop telekinetic powers and a rather large forehead.

Green Lantern is one of those adaptation that has been thrown around Hollywood for years, with many writers, directors and stars named as possibilities and then dismissed as quickly as the idea came around. For some films, this proves a good thing. An example, Zack Snyder's Watchmen (2009), was a hell of a long time coming, with the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger being banded round to star as Dr. Manhattan. But several writers and directors later, it came to someone who had a passion for the material, and he created something very good and loyal to the graphic novel. While it was by no means a perfect film, it was just about as good as one could hope from a movie adaptation of a very difficult novel. In the case of Green Lantern, perhaps the troublesome journey from comic book to screen was there for a reason, as the finished film is pretty poor.

As likeable as Ryan Reynolds usually is, he doesn't have the charisma or the loveable rogueishness that, say, Robert Downey Jr. has as Tony Stark in Iron Man (2008). Hal Jordan is generally unlikeable - he is cocky, reckless and selfish. Tony Stark's arrogance makes him stand out, and separates him from the mere mortals he swears to protect. Jordan is seen at the beginning of the film sacrificing his wing-man (or wing-woman - the sexy Blake Lively as Carol Ferris) in order to beat a rival company in a dog-fight. He is evidently an emotionally torn character - we see this in an extremely soppy flashback which shows us how Jordan witnessed his father blowing up in front of his eyes. Well boo fucking hoo. I couldn't ever warm to his character because he doesn't deserve his power. Perhaps if his back-story was served with a little less cheddar and a bit more originality then maybe I could root for him.

The premise that he can harness his imagination as his power is an interesting one, and certainly one ripe with limitless possibility. Yet director Martin Campbell (Casino Royale (2006), The Mask of Zorro (1998)) and the four different screenwriters seem to leave many gaping plot holes. Jordan is seen throwing up fast and imaginative defences when being trained by Green Lantern Corps combat trainer Kilowog (Michael Clarke Duncan), yet when being faced by the giant-headed Hammond, everything goes out the window. Hammond holds Carol as hostage when Jordan bursts in brandishing his ring (the one on his finger!) when Hammond makes him aware that Carol is being held telekinetically in mid-air with a syringe filled with what I can only imagine as poison floating near her neck. Jordan appears to be helpless. So why doesn't he imagine a steel wall around Carol, and a giant knife across Hammond's throat? Because that would be to easy and would require the writers to come with better ideas, of course.

The film really isn't quite as bad as the critics have made it out to be. It is sporadically fun, and features the ever-watchable Mark Strong as Green Lantern Corps leader Sinestro. But the film is just so annoyingly stupid that it made me question why someone so stupid would be chosen to wield such power. And the script is so bad that you can hear the desperation to try and forge some humour out of the thinly-written supporting characters (the 'comedy relief' best-friend is so bad the director just seems to cut him out of the movie half way through). Not exactly a Ghost Rider (2007) sized pile of steaming shit, but nothing to give Christopher Nolan sleepless nights. DC better book up their ideas, as Marvel seem to be running away with it (although Marvel have yet to make a film as good as The Dark Knight (2008)).


Directed by: Martin Campbell
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins, Angela Bassett, Geoffrey Rush, Michael Clarke Duncan
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #212: 'The Amityville Horror' (2005)

Platinum Dunes production company was formed by Michael Bay, Brad Fuller and Andrew Form in 2001, with the prime proposal of re-making, predominantly 1970's "classic" (albeit well-known) horror films. Their first was The Texas Chain-saw Massacre (2003). They messed around with Friday the 13th (2009), -as if it really needed to be done after nine sequels - and A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), after producing a "modern" take on 1979's The Amityville Horror. I state modern only in the time of production, as the film is set in the 1970's. After all it is "based on a true story" (I will come back to this later).

The film begins, - as does it's predecessor - with a dramatically edited prologue of the "actual" event that occurred in the house in 1974, when Ronald Defeo systematically shot his parents and siblings whilst they slept in their beds. This did actually happen, and Defeo is still serving a life sentence for the horrific crime. The crime was blamed by Ronald on voices that told him to kill them. Several years later, Kathy (Melissa George) and George Lutz (Ryan Reynolds) purchase the Amityville "dream home" cheaply. They move in with Kathy's three children (from a previous marriage). This is clearly a new arrangement, as - particularly the oldest - child is suspicious of the new father figure.

Well, the film has no build-up of tension at all, as moments into occupying the house, they begin to see things. Now traditionally in the haunted house genre of horror films, ghosts are not really physically seen. However, in this movie, they are simply there! George goes "crazy" practically instantly, and the tensions within the family are automatically tumultuous. The "ghosts" of the Jody, one of the little girls killed, are seen by youngest child, Chelsea (Chloe Moretz - in pre-Hit Girl, use-of-the-word "cunt" mode), and communicates through her.

The opening sequence is endemic of these Michael Bay produced films. Snappy, flash editing; the layering of images, and particularly dirty pen-scribblings on paper. Essentially a title sequence, post-Seven (1997). It does benefit from contemporary footage of news-reels shot at the time of the Defeo murders. These "funky" openings are also quite stylist, and for production value, lends an almost artistic flare to proceedings. However, it does not save a very run-of-the-mill film, that ticks all the boxes of a remake/ghost-horror movie.

So, we come back to the "based on a true story". This is a story that I have been fascinated by from a very early age, when I saw the film, and read the Jay Anson book of the same name. The Lutz family did purchase the house, knowing that it was the scene of the Defeo crime. 28 days later they fled the property, leaving all of their belongings (never to return). They reported the strange and horrific occurrences. Well, they did to a writer, who promised a lucrative publishing deal (ghost stories were hot in the '70's). this obviously led to the money-making deal of Hollywood movie-making. So their story of haunting, Indian burial grounds, and possession, was a highly profitable for the family, who were not well-off at all. With the knowledge of the houses history, it would be easy to conjure up a ghost story in 28 days. "Fuck the possessions, eh?"

As an "after thought", there have been many families that have occupied the house, who have never reported any strange "happenings." The only reason that any of them have left, was simply due to "sightseers" who trample over the grounds, due to the popularity of the film. The grisly statement of "Get Out", becoming simply a "Get off my land".


Directed by: Andrew Douglas
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Chloë Grace Moretz, Philip Baker Hall
Country: USA

Rating: **

Marc Ivamy