Review #881: 'Transformers: The Movie' (1986)

I was enticed into watching Transformers: The Movie after watching an episode of the surprisingly funny The Goldbergs, currently airing for the first time in the UK. In the episode, the physically underdeveloped nerd of the family watches in awe as the movie version of his favourite weekend cartoon plays out across the cinema screen. His face soon turns to sheer horror when his beloved heroes are routinely blown away by the evil Decepticons, and I was immediately transported back in time. Not only does the bespectacled Adam Goldberg (played by Sean Giambrone) remind me of my older brother, but I instantly recalled my own horror at seeing the likes of Ratchet, Ironhide and Prowl being casually blown to pieces.

Your enjoyment of Transformers: The Movie really depends on whether you roll your eyes or clap your hands like a child at the sound of un-ironic 80's cheese blaring over sketchy animation of giant robots. No will claim that this is a work of high art or even narratively consistent, but if you're even remotely invested in the ensemble of Autobots, the ensuing blood-bath (oil-bath?) will still no doubt be shocking. Characters are dismembered, decapitated and shot execution-style. Casual viewers or newcomers may have trouble distinguishing one Transformer from the next (something that the live-action Michael Bay movies struggle with), but the relentless carnage at least makes for a refreshing experience to the usual child-friendly fare.

It also has Unicron, the big bad guy who is so huge he transforms into a planet. Voiced by Orson Welles in one of his last feature films, his operatic, ham-fisted growl combined with that opening tune still has the ability to give me chills. While Unicron commits planetary genocide in the opening moments, Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) plans an all-out assault on the Decepticons. Prime's opposite number Megatron (Frank Welker) hears of the plans and attacks first, leaving the Autobots scattered and on the defensive. Following an attack on Autobot City, the Autbots flee with Megatron wounded and blasted into outer space. But Unicron wants the Matrix, a talisman of great power currently in the hands of Autobot Ultra Magnus (Robert Stack), and so re-creates Megatron as Galvatron (Leonard Nimoy) to recover it.

The narrative consists of little more than one action scene after the next, full of explosions, gun-play, and fan-favourites the Dinobots cracking-wise. While these moments are generally entertaining and lovingly realised, they soon become quite tiresome. When good guy Hot Rod (Judd Nelson) lands on planet Junk and is attacked by the motorcycle-riding natives led by Wreck-Gar (Eric Idle), I just longed for some of them to sit down and have a conversation. This leads to a disappointingly underwhelming climax as Hot Rod, Galvatron and Unicron finally face-off. The animation is rather jittery but incredibly stylish, in a style seemingly lost with modern-day cartoons. I may be nit-picking, but it's only because I believe that Transformers: The Movie deserves to be taken seriously, and although it's far from perfect, it will always retain a place in the hearts of us children of the 80's.


Directed by: Nelson Shin
Voices: Judd Nelson, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Leonard Nimoy, Orson Welles, Eric Idle
Country: USA/Japan

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #192: 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' (1975)

This is one of those films that I can't believe I had never seen before now. Also on this list are the likes of It's A Wonderful Life (1946) and The Great Escape (1963), but they will be seen all in good time. It's a shame I had waited so long to be honest, as it is quite possibly the most hilarious and brilliant comedy I've ever seen. There's not much to say about Monty Python that hasn't already been said, but it is well known that the group (John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin) were revolutionaries in the art of comedy, combining a number of elements to create an overall surreal and ingenious sense of humour.

The film is based loosely on the legend of King Arthur (Chapman) and the Knights of the Round Table. Arthur is on a quest to find the Holy Grail, and with his fellow Knights, encounters a number of dangerous and ridiculous obstacles along the way. These include a castle guarded by French knights with 'outrageous accents', the Black Knight, the Knights Who Say Ni, the Three-Headed Giant, the Rabbit of Caebannog, and the Beast of Arrrrrrggggghhhhh.

Whereas Life of Brian (1979) was a very intelligent and quite biting satire on religion, Holy Grail is pretty much just an excuse to be extremely silly. From the opening scene, where Arthur arrives pretending to ride on his imaginary horse while his squire bangs two coconuts together to make a galloping noise, you know that the film is not going to play by any comedy rules, and is certainly not afraid of being just plain weird. It plays out in an episodic structure, much like The Flying Circus, but the team are clearly at their most comfortable here and are certainly no slouches when it comes to comedy set-pieces. My favourite would probably be the famous Black Knight, who when Arthur has hacked three of his limbs in a brilliantly gruesome manner, is still trying to fight ("'tis but a scratch!").

The comedy comes from all angles - word-play, visual gags, surrealism, post-modernism, blink-or-you'll-miss-it background gags, and simply pulling silly faces - and they come thick and fast, including more laughs per minute than most comedies will be lucky to muster in 90 minutes. This is simply a brilliant film, and will forever remain amongst the greatest comedies ever created.


Directed by: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones
Starring: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Michael Palin
Country: UK

Rating: *****

Tom Gillespie