Review #1,155: 'Ice Age: Collision Course' (2016)

Yes, you read the title correctly. A fifth entry into the series which began in 2002 with Ice Age somehow stumbled onto cinema screens last year to find that even the target audience may have become fatigued by the increasingly cuddly and decreasingly funny franchise, as its box office pulled in far fewer dollars than was expected. You would be forgiven if you weren't even aware of this movie, as I doubt even the most loyal of fans were screaming out for more following the limp Continental Drift in 2012. Having covered just about every historical disaster to hit the globe without any sense of timeline, writers Michael J. Wilson, Michael Berg and Yoni Brenner have decided to make one up, and that is after sending one of its most recognisable characters into space.

That character is Scrat, the saber-tooth squirrel whose neverending quest to get his hands on that evasive acorn always proved to be a welcome distraction whenever the central story became too tedious or sentimental. After stumbling upon an alien spaceship glimpsed in the first movie, he accidentally switches it on and is blasted into the cosmos, playing pinball with the planets and forming the Milky Way. Before you can say "hey, that doesn't make any sense!", Scrat sends a meteorite hurtling towards Earth, just as Manny the mammoth (Ray Romano) realises he has forgotten his anniversary while stressing about his grown-up daughter's relationship with the goofy Julian (Adam Devine). Collision Course is happy to meander along like a prehistoric sitcom.

It's quite clear that directors Mike Thurmeier and Galen T. Chu are convinced that by simply throwing more characters into this already overstuffed universe will distract the audience from the sheer lack of imagination and actual jokes. Returning are Ellie (Queen Latifah), Manny's wife; ground sloth Sid (John Leguizamo) who is feeling lovelorn after being dumped; saber-tooth tiger Diego (Denis Leary), who seems to be teaching his girlfriend Shira (Jennifer Lopez) that eating meat is bad; opossum brothers and comic-relief Crash (Seann William Scott) and Eddie (Josh Peck); and wise-cracking screwball Granny (Wanda Sykes). As the meteor heads closer to Earth, the Herd come across Buck (Simon Pegg), the unhinged weasel still living in the secret Jurassic world last seen in Dawn of the Dinosaurs, who inadvertently invites a trio of pissed-off dromaeosaurs (voiced by Nick Offerman, Stephanie Beatiz and Max Greenfield) onto their trail. It's all too much - Lopez must have about 5 lines throughout the entire film - and I'm not even covering the new set of characters introduced near the end.

There's plenty of forward momentum and what must be a world-record of fart and arse gags to distract unfussy children, but there is next to nothing to keep the grown-up audience entertained. In an age where The Lego Movie can make profound statements about the nature of corporate culture and Zootopia can ask some serious questions about race relations, you would find deeper life-lessons in an episode of The King of Queens than you will find in Collision Course. Demonstrating an understanding of the laws of physics on par with Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, the education here is purely familial, with Manny undergoing the same learning curve as he has in every previous instalment. While the animation may be lovely and polished, the sheer lack of effort by Blue Sky Studios to deliver anything but a piece of colourful fluff to keep the cash machine fully stocked and operational is unforgivable. When you find yourself rooting for the asteroid to end of this nonsense once and for all, it's clear that the franchise is now done.


Directed by: Mike Thurmeier, Galen T. Chu
Voices: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Keke Palmer, Simon Pegg, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck, Adam Devine, Wanda Sykes
Country: USA

Rating: *

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,098: 'The Infiltrator' (2016)

Faring far better as a big-screen leading man than he did in last year's disappointing biopic Trumbo, Bryan Cranston brings a slightly grizzled decency to his role as U.S. Customs special agent Robert Mazur in Brad Furman's The Infiltrator, a by-the-numbers, if suitably engrossing, fact-based drama. Mazur decides that his final operation before retirement will be to go undercover to infiltrate the criminal organisation headed by one of the key figures in helping turn Miami into a bullet-ridden, cocaine-fuelled war-zone during the 1980s, Pablo Escobar.

Mazur is a mild-mannered, if fiercely intelligent, family man, who must transform himself into a slick money launderer that will somehow talk his way into Escobar's inner circle, befriending one of the drug baron's top lieutenants - Benjamin Bratt's Robert Alcaino - in the process. Similar to Walter White's transformation from passive high school teacher into a mass-murdering, downright evil bastard in Breaking Bad, Cranston is again required to undergo a complete character change throughout the course of the story (albeit here as an act). Yet while Walter White was given 5 years to convincingly develop his arc, Mazur's seduction by a more dangerous way of life isn't given the attention it deserves.

Cranston is still terrific however, as are the supporting cast. A slip of the tongue means that Mazur's alter-ego Bob Musella also has a fiancee, so fellow agent Kathy Ertz (Diane Kruger) is called in, and the relationship between the two secret agents, both professionally and the obvious sexual chemistry between the two, is one of the more interesting aspects of the movie. Also assisting Mazur with the sting is Emir Abreu, played with wide-eyed, jacked-up intensity by John Leguizamo. Abreau is a fellow agent whose motivations may rest more with the adrenaline rush that naturally goes with living constantly on edge than a desire to see justice served, and many of Leguizamo's best scenes are in those moments when you feel everybody is about to get rumbled.

It's interesting, no-nonsense stuff, but sadly doesn't strive to be anything but that. Hints made at Mazur's inner-conflict and the finer details of the case itself are left relatively unexplored, so anyone hoping for a deeper experience than your standard genre movie will no doubt be left disappointed. The Infiltrator is instead happy to sit within the comforts of cliche, covering everything from the concerned wife at home (played by Juliet Aubrey) to the criminal who is actually quite nice deep down. But to give the film it's credit, it does the cliches very well, successfully building tension and delivering the occasional heart-in-mouth moment when called upon. Cranston has done his inevitable ascension to the A-list no harm either, and Leguizamo proves why people really need to take him seriously as an actor again.


Directed by: Brad Furman
Starring: Bryan Cranston, Diane Kruger, John Leguizamo, Benjamin Bratt, Juliet Aubrey, Amy Ryan, Joseph Gilgun, Jason Isaacs
Country: UK

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #500: 'Ice Age: Continental Drift' (2012)

So Manny (Ray Romano), Sid (John Leguizamo), Diego (Denis Leary) et al return for yet another instalment of the hugely successful Ice Age franchise, to explore themes that have been re-cycled from previous films, and re-hash familiar plots. With the continents breaking up around them after a calamitous act by the returning Scrat, Manny is separated from Ellie (Queen Latifah) and his teenage daughter Peaches (Keke Palmer) and washed out to sea. With the world seemingly becoming an ocean of floating glaciers, they are picked up by the maniacal pirate Captain Gutt (Peter Dinklage), a gigantophithecus who wants to make them walk the plank. They escape, and must form a plan to seal Gutt's boat in order to meet up with Ellie, Peaches, and their wandering herd.

Similar to the plot strand in The Meltdown (2006) involving Manny and Ellie, who was torn given that she thought she was a different animal, Diego meets one of his fellow species Shira (Jennifer Lopez) aboard Gutt's ship, who is dedicated to Gutt's tyrannical rule regardless of how he treats her. Again the writers seem unable to come up with something inventive for Diego so have lumbered him with a shockingly uninvolving love story. Shira is merely one of many new additions, and apart from Dinklage's impressive Gutt and Nick Frost's hilariously brain-dead Flynn, none hit the mark. The introduction of Peaches, who arrived in the third (and best by far) instalment Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009) merely causes the film to explore TV-movie themes of family and generation, played out like a middle-class suburban family. Peaches even says to Manny "I wish you weren't my father," before they are separated - yawn!

The creators seem to have lost all respect for themselves and the series after the hopeful third instalment, and have opted for an MTV/Disney Channel aesthetic, bringing in awful pop stars such as Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Drake and Heather Morris to satisfy the young generations' lust for these conveyor belt voices rather than some genuine voice talent. It's quite mystifying as to why they opted to leave out Simon Pegg's Buck (although he is glimpsed for a split second), who was the best thing about the previous film, and instead introduced this endless wave of forgetful characters. Even Scrat, usually a welcome diversion to the central action, is lacking any real ideas and fails to raise a laugh. And the film is wrapped up with an awful rendition of 'We Are Family' sang by the whole cast that caused me to instantly turn the volume down and stop the film as my body was uncontrollably cringing. Simply dreadful, and I doubt I'll continue with the series from now on.


Directed by: Steve Martino, Mike Thurmeier
Voices: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Wanda Sykes, Queen Latifah, Keke Palmer, Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Lopez, Seann William Scott
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #437: 'Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs' (2009)

With Mannie (Ray Romano) and Ellie (Queen Latifah) shortly expecting their first child, Sid (John Leguizamo) fears for the future of the herd. Soon enough, Diego (Denis Leary) decides to leave after failing to catch a gazelle, fearing he has gone soft. Sid finds three eggs in an isolated underground grave which he excitedly adopts, only for them to hatch the next day into tyrannosaurus rex's. When their angry mother attacks the herd and takes her babies back with Sid with them, Mannie, Ellie, Diego, Crash (Seann William Scott) and Eddie (Josh Peck) go off in search of rescue only to discover an underground lost world still inhabited by dinosaurs. It is a hostile environment and the group are soon under attack, but they are rescued by a demented one-eyed weasel named Buck (Simon Pegg) who becomes their guide through the treacherous jungle.

There seems to be continuing theme throughout the Ice Age films. It could be said the first film dealt with childhood, with the three hapless creatures dealing with a delicate baby, and the second film dealing with adolescence, with Mannie finally discovering a female mammoth and falling in love. Naturally, the third film has Mannie and Ellie having their own baby, and therefore focusing on adulthood. Even the sabre-toothed squirrel Scrat is growing up, finding a possible mate in Scratte, and giving all his attention to her rather than his beloved acorn (which seems to be lonely in an inspired yet quite bizarre love montage between the two). Although, in my opinion, the first sequel The Meltdown (2006) was a step back compared to the first film, the third is the best of the bunch, and it's nice to know that the films are growing just as their characters are.

The 'underground lost world' is admittedly a bit of a cheap way to throw in some dinosaurs, but I found it hard to care with animation this beautiful. The opening shot amongst the tree tops of the jungle, with dinosaurs slowly moving and eating from trees, is truly stunning, and a real improvement of the slightly blocky animation of the first film. Sadly, Diego is again given little to nothing to do, and seems a waste of Leary's talents, but the introduction of Buck was certainly a smart one. With Buck as our insane tour guide, it becomes easier to put up with Mannie and Ellie's slightly dull moral heart of the story and enjoy lines such as "about three months ago I woke up married to a pineapple. An ugly pineapple! But I loved her so...". In Pegg's hands his sheer randomness is hilarious. Directors Carlos Saldanha and Mike Thurmeier have stepped up their game rather than relying on the Ice Age franchise to bring in the punters, and given the series the kick up the arse it needed.


Directed by: Carlos Saldanha, Mike Thurmeier
Voices: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Simon Pegg, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck
Country: USA

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #419: 'Ice Age: The Meltdown' (2006)

With the Ice Age coming to an end, Manny (Ray Romano), Sid (John Leguizamo) and Diego (Denis Leary) learn that the valley they are living in will collapse and ultimately flood. They set off on a journey to reach higher ground, with Manny depressed at the fact that he may be the last mammoth alive. They come across two mischievous opossums Crash (Seann William Scott) and Eddie (Josh Peck), who are travelling with their 'sister' Ellie (Queen Latifah), a mammoth who believes that she is an opossum. Facing some hungry sea creatures, an army of mini-sloths who wants to sacrifice Sid (who they believe to be a fire God), and a temperamental volcano, the group must face physical perils, as well as their own company.

Following the mega-success of the first film, the first sequel (there are now four films all together) arrives with an increased budget and some much improved animation, and was naturally a huge success. It is a damning indictment of audience's thirst for originality, as The Meltdown is nothing more than a less-funny re-hash of the first film. The wafer-thin plot of the first is given a slight twist with the fact that they are escaping a massive world event, rather than returning a baby to some humans, but it is the same basic, threadbare story. Only this time, the ever-annoying Queen Latifah is on hand to give her trademark sass, and make me want to throw things at the screen.

That said, the film is as mindlessly entertaining as it predecessor, with Sid providing the majority of the laughs within the central plot, even though the focus seems to have moved to the less interesting Manny and his relationship with Ellie. But Scrat, the sabre-toothed squirrel that was highlight of the first film, is on hand again to provide some inspired animated physical comedy, as his endless quest to retrieve his acorn carries on,  inadvertently getting caught up with the events around him. Overall, a bit of a disappointment given the fact that the first film wasn't bad at all, but is still able to provide enough laughs to make it worthy of 90 minutes of your time.


Directed by: Carlos Saldanha
Voices: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #411: 'Ice Age' (2002)

When a group of sabre-toothed cats led by Soto (Goran Visnjic) attack a group of humans that have been hunting their pack, a mother of a new-born baby escapes, inadvertently leaving the baby with the giant mammoth Manny (Ray Romano) and his clumsy, clueless tag-a-long friend Sid (John Leguizamo), a sloth. Soto puts his lieutenant Diego (Denis Leary) in charge of finding the baby and bringing it back to him alive, so Diego befriends Manny and Sid, who are returning the baby to the humans, in an attempt to mislead them into the path of Soto and his savage pack. But they have treacherous caves and a group of idiotic dodo's in their path, amongst other things.

With a relatively microscopic budget (of around $60 million) in terms of modern funding, 20th Century Fox have managed to create a lovely-looking (although it suffers in comparison to the likes of WALL-E (2008)) piece of animation with a host of talented voice actors. Of course, due to its massive popularity, the Ice Age films have now produced three sequels, a Christmas special, and a rather impressive profit. I was interested to see why this was so popular, given the massive amount of CGI animated films being churned out these days that are of mainly poor quality. Although the film isn't exactly a classic, the well realised characters (and the voices behind them) and its genuine heart raises it above the rest.

This kind of story has been done before, for instance it was bettered in Pixar's Monsters, Inc. (2001) that came out a year before, and although it would be harsh to call the film unoriginal, Ice Age does suffer somewhat because of this. But whoever's idea it was to cast Hollywood misfit John Leguizamo as the idiotic Sid deserves a firm pat on the back. He is the comic relief to the film, and if mishandled could have come across as annoying, yet Leguizamo's voice (coming across as Louis Spence crossed with Mort from Family Guy) and some impressive facial capturing makes him a very funny and endearing character. And every time the story seems to be heading into predictable territory (which is does often), a clever running joke involving Scrat, a sabre-toothed squirrel, trying to smuggle an acorn to be frequently interrupted, makes the film fun again. Hardly anything breakthrough, but there's much fun to be had and I will be watching the sequels.


Directed by: Chris Wedge, Carlos Saldanha
Voices: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Cedric The Entertainer
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #362: 'The Happening' (2008)

After the massive success of the hugely over-rated debut feature, The Sixth Sense (1999), M. Night Shyamalan could only really go one way. The series of films that he produced over the years have always been absolutely reliant on a twist, or put simply, one single idea, that the film's entire narrative is hinged upon. In his first the lead character was dead, in Unbreakable (2000), the lead was an unwitting superhero, in The Village (2004), it was the media signifiers of the war on terror. In essence the films were quite interesting. However, as films they were largely dull, pretentious drivel. I never actually saw Lady in the Water (2006), so I am unable to comment on the film he directed before this atrociously titled, The Happening.

The film begins with a series of vignettes showing various New Yorker's stopping their movements, and randomly committing suicide. One scene has workmen jumping from the room of a tall building - the director sorely missing out on the opportunity to have The Weather Girls' It's Raining Men playing on a radio, or even with non-diegesis. So, what about that old Shyamalan twist that has become so ubiquitous to 21st cinema thus far? The plants did it! The plants are attacking the entire eastern seaboard of North America, and a struggling couple, Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) and Alma (Zooey Deschanel) have been given a friends child Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) to take to safety after her father, John Leguizamo, - who willingly manages to slit his wrists, successfully ejecting himself from this awful film - goes off in search of the mother.

Shyamanlan proudly highlights his involvement in his films, with his credits for writing, producing and directing, and his career path would seem to indicate that he combats outside forces in their making. If this is the case, I would state that for his careers sake, he should absolutely make other peoples scripts. For me, I don't really care, having never really liked any of his films. It would appear that the gravitas of the attention he received after The Sixth Sense, (being hailed as the new Spielberg; the wunderkind status in the media) clearly have hindered his films. And as I watched Wahlberg and Deschanel, zombie-like in their delivery of some very poor "relationship" dialogue, and the pathetic narrative of plant spores evolving to drive humans to suicide as a defence, I wondered to myself: Why on earth is this man still making movies? We should relegate him to television reality shows: When Botany Goes Mad!


Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo
Country: USA/India/France

Rating: *

Marc Ivamy