Review #795: 'Transformers: Age of Extinction' (2014)

For those (surely) few concerned at the film title's hint that this may spell the end of the giant, indistinguishable CGI aliens, then rest assured, the perplexing box-office takings and the recent announcement of a fifth instalment means that there's no end in sight for Michael Bay's soulless, money-churning franchise. For those tired of the sickly, shaky-cam photography, annoying, goofy humour, tactless pandering to it's undemanding audience, and endless scenes of computer effects bashing against one another, this spells disaster. Though Age of Extinction marks a slightly more focused improvement over it's two predecessors, Bay is showing no signs of wanting to create a decent movie.

Essentially a re-boot due to a complete cast overhaul (minus the robots), this fourth instalment offers little in terms of refreshment. Our human hero is now Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), replacing Shia LaBeouf's Sam Witwicky, but sharing all the personality traits. Yeager is a genius mechanic, turning junk into something useful, though nothing financially successful, as his hot-pants-donning jailbait daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) repeatedly points out. He is essentially the same nerdy, fast-talking every-man as Sam, only he has arms like tree trunks. His discovery of a beaten-down old trunk in a crumbling movie theatre (perhaps a nod to Bay's hand in the disappearance of the local independent cinema) kicks off a series of events which soon attract the attention of corporate-type CIA agent Attinger (Kelsey Grammer).

Of course, the truck is Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), and it turns out that the government are hunting down transformers - even the good guys who helped in the previous film's battle in Chicago. A shady company, headed by Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci - the only actor appearing to have a pulse), is also involved, using 'science' to extract data from the head of Megatron and extracting a new, codeable metal - laughably dubbed 'Transformium'. Anything can be created from the substance, and is being used to develop the company's very own transformers, including Galvatron, who fans of the comic will know to be an absolute beast. When he is unleashed, it becomes apparent that Galvatron has plans of his own. Also in the mix is ancient transformer bounty hunter Lockdown (Mary Ryan), who intends on taking Optimus back to the 'creator'.

It's a hell of a lot of plot, and at 165 minutes, this will test the endurance of even the most hard-core fan of the new movie franchise. Bay clearly hasn't learned anything from the critics. Age of Extinction is the same convoluted splurge as the film's that came before. This time at least, thanks to the vocal talents of John Goodman and Ken Watanabe, the robots can at least be identified amidst the carnage. Without Megan Fox or Rosie Huntington-Whitely to letch over, Bay has employed another useless female character in Peltz, who runs away from explosions in short-shorts and high heels, and has an equally dull boyfriend in Shane (Jack Reynor - whose Irish accent somehow sounds fake even though his IMDb page lists him as having lived in Ireland most of his life). They've been sleeping together for ages so, y'know, the whole sex with a minor thing is cool.

Many critics have dubbed this as the worst yet, but I disagree. Although I detest the use of CGI as a narrative tool, the special effects here are some of the greatest work ever put on film. There's also no outright racist characters, such as the Twins from Revenge of the Fallen (2009), and the whole experience is far less cringe-worthy than it's predecessor's in terms of attempted comedy. But with the film failing to inject any development or evolution into the series, the point of these movies points to just one thing - money. Bay is filling his pockets without a shred of artistic integrity, and as long as audiences keep offering their money for sheer mediocrity, these movies will keep popping up every couple of years.


Directed by: Michael Bay
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Titus Welliver
Country: USA/China

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #746: 'X-Men: The Last Stand' (2006)

Back in 2006, it seemed like Brett Ratner's third instalment of the X-Men saga was a textbook way to kill a lucrative franchise. The Last Stand kept the satirical undertones of the previous two, and even introduced some new, interesting ones. It also had the biggest set-pieces yet, climaxing in a mutant brawl on Alcatraz that pits the saga's big bad Magneto (Ian McKellen) and his army of cronies against an earnest and inexperienced X-Men led by Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Storm (Halle Berry). However, gone was the love injected into the franchise by Bryan Singer, and gone was any form of coherency and care. But it seems that The Last Stand was not the franchise-killer many envisioned, and, now that Days of Future Past (2014) has apparently eradicated it from the time-line, it is little but a dark blip in an overall successful series of movies.

Horrified by the announcement of a new mutant 'cure', developed from a power-draining mutant child named Jimmy (Cameron Bright), Magneto reforms his Brotherhood of Mutants and sets out kill the boy. Sensing trouble brewing, Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) enlists the help of former student and current Secretary of Mutant Affairs for the U.S. Cabinet Dr. Hank McCoy (Kelsey Grammer), also known as Beast. After disappearing at the end of the previous film, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) resurfaces but re-born as the Phoenix, a mutant fuelled by rage and unbelievable power. When Xavier fails to subdue her mind, Jean allies herself with Magneto, whose army is growing steadily stronger.

The X-Men movies have always succeeded in channelling larger issues such as segregation and racism through the eternal battle between mutants and humans, and if The Last Stand is successful at anything at all, it's in bringing to mind the many differences people are born with, and how these 'afflictions' damage their ability to fit into regular society. Naturally, the issue will divide those affected into those who have fully accepted and embrace how they were born, and those who are eager to slot nicely into the mainstream. The cure offered in the movie also comes with a choice. Magneto sees this as an affront to mutants, who he feels are the next natural step in evolution. Yet Rogue (Anna Paquin), cursed with being unable to come into human contact with anyone, sees it as a way to finally end her pain.

But this is not enough to save The Last Stand from being a complete mess. The two previous movies managed to keep enough of a hold on it's massive ensemble to still tell a decent story. The Last Stand introduces a ridiculous amount of new mutants, from the impressive but little-seen Angel (Ben Foster), whose screen-time betrays his position on the poster, to the ridiculous abomination that is Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones), a wafer-thin villain whose induces cringing every time he opens his mouth. The plot is little more than a way to get the goodies fighting the baddies, and lazy plot-holes and inexplicable tactics on both sides riddle what is an incredibly dull and simplistic climax.

The development of Jean Grey into Phoenix, one of the key X-Men plot threads beloved to fans, admittedly allows for the odd visually spectacular set-piece, but on the whole is a massive let-down. Janssen is perfectly fine in the role, convincing as a seductive yet extremely dangerous mutant capable of God-like powers, but is seriously underwritten. And it's this aspect that really sums up The Last Stand - careless, scattershot, and insulting to its loyal fans. It seems to care far more about how much money the movie can put into it's wallet than creating anything of artistic merit. As said before, the film is such a mess that Bryan Singer had to find a way to quite rightly delete it from the X-Men timeline, and that sums up this pap better than I could ever dream of.


Directed by: Brett Ratner
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Famke Janssen, Kelsey Grammer, James Marsden, Rebecca Romijn, Anna Paquin
Country: Canada/USA/UK

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie