Review #891: 'Jupiter Ascending' (2015)

Ever since 1999's The Matrix have people been waiting for the Wachowski siblings to live up their potential. Although it can be said that their breakthrough hit borrowed heavily from other sources, it was without question unlike anything before seen in mainstream cinema, weaving philosophy and mysticism into a sci-fi loaded with gunplay and kung-fu. Four critical (and two financial) flops later, and we're still waiting. Their latest, Jupiter Ascending, is an intriguing tale of a young Earthling girl caught up in a tug-of-war between three intergalactic royals, but once again the Wachowskis have sacrificed everything in favour of aesthetic, creating a film so devoid of character and logic that you have to wonder if any producer will put faith in them again.

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) is a young Russian girl living in America, who scrubs the toilets of her wealthy neighbours for a living. We feel sorry for her because her father was killed before she was born, and she is currently living in the same house as her stereotypical Russian family. Whilst undergoing an operation to remove her eggs to make some quick cash in a money-making scheme with her brother, she is attacked by a group of extra-terrestrial's called 'Keepers'. However, she is saved by the hulking half-man half-wolf soldier Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), who whisks her away to safety and takes her to the home of his former comrade Stinger Apini (Sean Bean).

Stinger informs Jupiter that she is indeed royalty, and that she shares the exact genetic make-up of a long-dead matriarch of the powerful Abrasax alien dynasty. Her existence has three siblings - Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) - squabbling over Jupiter, as she unwittingly holds the rights to a huge chunk of space real estate that each of the three feel is their birthright. Earth happens to be a pot of gold to the Abrasax's, as the planet has reached overpopulation and the human race is ripe for harvesting in order to extract a powerful elixir that prolongs the lives of the elite class.

For a film that spends so much time delivering exposition, the movie fails to explain itself very well. From start to finish, it feels as if the Wachowski's are spoon-feeding us the hardly complicated plot while building up the familiar messiah subtext and delivering extended CGI action scenes. It's also strange that the two director's, who are capable of writing strong female roles (see 1996's Bound), have written their female protagonist as existing solely to be sent screaming off a cliff, into outer space etc., only to be rescued at the last minute by Wise, the goatee'd, pointy-eared superhero. This happens time and time again to the point that it became laughable, especially in today's age.

The cast try their best. Bean somehow comes out of it completely unscathed, and Redmayne - Oscar-winner for The Theory of Everything (2014) - at least stands out, hamming it up to quite ludicrous levels and delivering his sinister lines with a whisper. Tatum is clearly capable of more, but is given little to work with, but Kunis is completely miscast. Her heroine is terribly written, but she looks awkward as a leading lady and unconvincing as a 'chosen one'. It's an empty, boring experience, with the Wachowski's demonstrating little care with the script ("Bee's don't lie," - one character says with a straight face), and even less with avoiding lazy plot-holes (it takes one crashed ship to bring down a planetary base?). It will take something special for the Wachowski's to recover from their work over the last 16 years.


Directed by: Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski
Starring: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Tuppence Middleton
Country: USA/UK

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie