Review #891: 'Jupiter Ascending' (2015)

Ever since 1999's The Matrix have people been waiting for the Wachowski siblings to live up their potential. Although it can be said that their breakthrough hit borrowed heavily from other sources, it was without question unlike anything before seen in mainstream cinema, weaving philosophy and mysticism into a sci-fi loaded with gunplay and kung-fu. Four critical (and two financial) flops later, and we're still waiting. Their latest, Jupiter Ascending, is an intriguing tale of a young Earthling girl caught up in a tug-of-war between three intergalactic royals, but once again the Wachowskis have sacrificed everything in favour of aesthetic, creating a film so devoid of character and logic that you have to wonder if any producer will put faith in them again.

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) is a young Russian girl living in America, who scrubs the toilets of her wealthy neighbours for a living. We feel sorry for her because her father was killed before she was born, and she is currently living in the same house as her stereotypical Russian family. Whilst undergoing an operation to remove her eggs to make some quick cash in a money-making scheme with her brother, she is attacked by a group of extra-terrestrial's called 'Keepers'. However, she is saved by the hulking half-man half-wolf soldier Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), who whisks her away to safety and takes her to the home of his former comrade Stinger Apini (Sean Bean).

Stinger informs Jupiter that she is indeed royalty, and that she shares the exact genetic make-up of a long-dead matriarch of the powerful Abrasax alien dynasty. Her existence has three siblings - Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) - squabbling over Jupiter, as she unwittingly holds the rights to a huge chunk of space real estate that each of the three feel is their birthright. Earth happens to be a pot of gold to the Abrasax's, as the planet has reached overpopulation and the human race is ripe for harvesting in order to extract a powerful elixir that prolongs the lives of the elite class.

For a film that spends so much time delivering exposition, the movie fails to explain itself very well. From start to finish, it feels as if the Wachowski's are spoon-feeding us the hardly complicated plot while building up the familiar messiah subtext and delivering extended CGI action scenes. It's also strange that the two director's, who are capable of writing strong female roles (see 1996's Bound), have written their female protagonist as existing solely to be sent screaming off a cliff, into outer space etc., only to be rescued at the last minute by Wise, the goatee'd, pointy-eared superhero. This happens time and time again to the point that it became laughable, especially in today's age.

The cast try their best. Bean somehow comes out of it completely unscathed, and Redmayne - Oscar-winner for The Theory of Everything (2014) - at least stands out, hamming it up to quite ludicrous levels and delivering his sinister lines with a whisper. Tatum is clearly capable of more, but is given little to work with, but Kunis is completely miscast. Her heroine is terribly written, but she looks awkward as a leading lady and unconvincing as a 'chosen one'. It's an empty, boring experience, with the Wachowski's demonstrating little care with the script ("Bee's don't lie," - one character says with a straight face), and even less with avoiding lazy plot-holes (it takes one crashed ship to bring down a planetary base?). It will take something special for the Wachowski's to recover from their work over the last 16 years.


Directed by: Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski
Starring: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Tuppence Middleton
Country: USA/UK

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #539: 'Ted' (2012)

It was only a matter of time before Seth MacFarlane, creator of "it's like that time when we..." cartoon sitcom Family Guy and the vastly superior American Dad! got a shot at the movies. After all, Family Guy spends most of its time playing homage to, referencing or mocking the movies, while at the same time stealing most of its ideas from them. Clearly an avid viewer of popcorn cinema (as well as the musicals), MacFarlane reverts back to the 1980's with Ted, when buddy-cop action-comedies ruled for a prolific yet short period of time. Only rather than, say, a loose-cannon white cop and a buttoned-up black cop, here we have a pot-head man-child and his wise-cracking teddy bear best friend.

Young outcast John Bennett has trouble making friends, and after being bought a giant teddy bear for Christmas, he wishes for his new friend Ted to be his friend forever. The magic of Christmas (or something) grants his wish, and he wakes the next morning to find Ted alive and speaking. He becomes a national celebrity, only twenty-seven years later, John (Mark Wahlberg) is stuck in a monotonous job while Ted (voice by MacFarlane, sounding like Peter Griffin) has become a beer-swilling, bong-toking layabout. They are still best of friends, and John is happy in a relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis), only Ted's behaviour goes too far one night when he brings back a party of hookers, one of whom shits on the floor, that leads to Lori growing increasingly impatient with John's childish attitude.

If there's one good thing that can be said about Seth MacFarlane, is that he knows how to write buddy moments. Stewie and Brian's Road To... episodes in Family Guy prove some of the series' headlights, playing on the bizarre and unconventional aspects of their relationship, bringing originality to the tired idea of a mismatched duo that care for each other deep down. It also manages to show a warmer side to his generally unpleasant (yet often funny) sense of humour, and this is one of Ted's strengths. John and Ted's interactions tend to be warm and amusing, as they share their love of pot, beer and Flash Gordon (1980), that brings the best out of Wahlberg's underrated subtle comedic talent (something was best displayed in I Heart Huckabees (2004)).

Yet the familiar story of a romance getting in the way of a bromance provides no originality, especially in terms of set-pieces. It resorts to a lazy car-chase finale that wraps up a rather silly sub-plot involving Giovanni Ribisi's creepy Donny abducting Ted to give to his even creepier son, that lacks anything resembling imagination or inspiration. Another sub-plot includes Lori being hit on by her generic rich-boy boss Rex (Joel McHale), a character that looks as if he's walked straight out of Family Guy. It's all just a rather disappointing lazy experience, given MacFarlane's obvious knowledge of his medium, and really only has one memorable moment that involves John meeting Flash Gordon himself, Sam J. Jones. The rest is a mish-mash of crude humour that works less favourably on screen than it does in a cartoon, spouted by the frequently annoying Ted who is nothing more than a more obnoxious Peter Griffin. Kunis is sweet and likeable as ever though, and Wahlberg's likeability plus a (disappointingly minuscule) appearance from Patrick Warburton provide some warmth.


Directed by: Seth MacFarlane
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #148: 'The Book of Eli' (2010)

It's 31 years since the sky opened up, sending apocalyptic sun-rays to the earth. A familiar landscape of burnt out cars, empty homes and dilapidated plant-life. Eli (Denzel Washington), is a wanderer with an obscure "mission". He carries with him a book of great power and importance; he heads west on a journey that has been told to him by a voice in his heart. The road is a dangerous place; filled with violence, in a world that has lost it's rules and devoid of meaning. Eli wanders into a town ruled by Carnegie (Gary Oldman), who dictates from a desk in an abandoned cinema. Henchmen work for him, his myopic focus on claiming a book; the book (whilst the subject of which is skirted around for the first hour) is quite obviously the Holy Bible.

A collection of genre tropes inform this film. Firstly, the most obvious post-apocalypse setting gives is it's sci-fi credentials; this theme is ever-present at this moment in cinema, and has provided varying quality (The Road (2009), 2012 (2009)), the latter being an awful example). Eli wonders into the town controlled by Carnegie, with the same western iconography of Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name in Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy. Carnegie controls a blind woman, Claudia (Jennifer Beals - her character name quite possibly a reference to Claudia Cardinale), and her daughter Solara (Mila Kunis). After discovering that Eli carries the book that he has been searching for, he begins a hunt for him.

I will admit that I came to this film very sceptical. A work colleague (Alice Mills), after hearing that I write reviews for this blog, suggested that I see this. The film is beautifully shot (well, it certainly has some wonderful back projections anyway). It's an interesting idea also, although not greatly realised, the concept of religiosity is carried through rather well. The film flirts with the concept that the bible has always been interpreted for use of both good and bad. Washington's character (obviously) carries and protects the book so that he may preserve its goodness, and pass it on so that it can continue to do it's supposed duty. Oldman's character however represents that darker element of representation. He sees the book as a weapon; a means to control the masses. A view that is very prevalent in attackers of the bible proper.

Whilst the film is admittedly enjoyable, it is simply a throw away piece of cinema. It possibly has some interesting ideas within it, but falters many times. In other words, it has many flaws. Whilst it represents the readings of the book, that throughout history has created such awful conflict, it also fully presents it's blind 'faith'. A line Eli states (when he is joined on his 'quest' by Solara) after being asked how he knows which way he is going - after all I'm pretty sure it does not take 30 years to walk from the east to west coast of America - he simply says 'I'm guided by faith, not by sight'. This statement does become more relevant in the closing moments of the film.

Whilst much gets in his way, Eli does make it to his destination. Alcatraz to be exact. There he finds a utopia of popular culture (literature etc) being cultivated. The head of this cultural museum is Malcom McDowell. Whilst perhaps I shouldn't say too much about the ending, it does remind me of Fahrenheit 451 (1968), in it's concept of the preservation of books in a world where they have become obsolete - and in the case of the bible, burnt after a war, presumably as it may have been the cause/blame for that war? The Book of Eli, is a flawed yet interesting film. It has the almost tired iconography of a modern CGI post-Apocalypse, yet it does attempt to manufacture something a little different from some of the other crop of the same story structure. It's not just a story of survival from vicious hoards of wanderers, scavengers etc. It does weave into this the preservation of ideas; the concept that the written word has something more powerful in it's presence in human consciousness.

I've not looked into it, but it would be interesting to hear the reaction of the Christian church (in all of its many manifestations). Whilst not explicitly, the film highlights the fact that the written form (and particularly the bible through history) has been mis-interpreted - or even purposefully re-read - to fit whichever form of control and repression that particular society feels it needs to provide.


Directed by: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes
Starring: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis, Ray Stevenson, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon, Tom Waits
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Marc Ivamy

Review #12: 'Black Swan' (2010)

Seen as a companion piece to director Darren Aronofsky's critical hit The Wrestler (2008), Black Swan is his love-letter to the operatic world of ballet. Similar to The Wrestler, this is a psychological study of a loyal servant to a chosen profession, who are pushed to the limits both physically and psychologically by the pressures of being good and relevant to their craft. Black Swan throws in a bit of mind-fucking and horror for good measure too.

Nina (Natalie Portman) is a gifted dancer who is reaching the make-or-break stage in her career. Always being pushed and encouraged by her mollycoddling mother Erica (Barbara Hershey), she hears about a new production of the Swan Lake to be directed by Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel), which requires one actress to play a dual role of both the White Swan and the Black Swan. Nina is an ideal choice for the role of the virginal, elegant White Swan, but Leroy has doubts over her ability to let go and become the darker, seductive Black Swan, a role that would be ideal for newcomer Lily (Mila Kunis). After a talk in Leroy’s office, Nina reacts badly to Leroy's advance and he becomes exhilarated when he catches a brief glimpse of what she could be capable of. And, when the casting is announced, Nina is awestruck when she lands the lead role.

The second act sees Nina engage on a mission to become the Black Swan, and this is when things get stranger. Doppelganger’s, reflections that seem to have a mind of their own, and a dabble in lesbianism start to push Nina towards psychological breaking point. It is unfortunately at this point where the film begins a steady decline, after the highly promising first hour or so. The twists and turns of Nina’s ever-declining mental state feature various strange episodes that I felt very familiar with. It had the same predictability as other films focusing on similar issues (Jacob’s Ladder (1990), The Machinist (2004)) and things rarely come as a surprise. Of course this is a film about the theatrical dramatics of ballet, but it begins to get overwrought and camp, when I feel it would have worked better with the style of the tense, slower-paced first act.

Not to knock the film too much, there is still much to enjoy here. The performances are excellent, namely Portman. She is in practically every scene and is every bit as good as you’ve most likely heard. Her transformation from the sweet, dedicated Nina of the first half to the desperate, troubled one of the second is wholly convincing, and that is down to Portman's acting ability. The scene in the cubicle when she calls her mother to tell her she got the part perfectly captures Nina’s joy mixed with utter disbelief and confusion. She’s always been a very good actress, but apart from 2004’s Closer, she’s never really been given a role she can really chew on. Here she chews with aplomb. Like I stated in a previous post, I would not begrudge her the Oscar if she beats my hopeful Jennifer Lawrence for Winter’s Bone (2010).

Black Swan is a very well-made film with amazing scenes of ballet, powerful acting and loose, confrontational camerawork, similar to that of The Wrestler. I just wish Aronofsky had been a bit more original with the horror scenes and offered something genuinely tormenting, similar to what he did with Requiem For A Dream (2000). Probably not for ballet-buffs either, unless you also enjoy scenes of fingernail removal and masturbation.


Directed by: Darren Aronofsky
Starring: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie