Review #1,221: 'Fast & Furious 8' (2017)

By the time Paul Walker bailed and Vin Diesel only bothered to show up for a wink-and-a-smile cameo back in 2003 with the third instalment in the Fast & Furious franchise, Tokyo Drift, it seemed like the series started by Rob Cohen in 2001 as an entertaining Point Break rip-off was done and dusted. 14 years later, the eighth entry sits happily as the eleventh highest-grossing movie of all time, raking in a whopping $1.2 billion at the box-office. Having evolved from low-key crime thrillers with a street-racing twist to all-out, physics-defying spy adventure blockbusters, audiences are clearly not done with Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and his street-hood 'family'. The film's alternate title of The Fate of the Furious - keeping up with the series' trend of frustratingly difficult-to-follow title meddling - suggests that this may be the most ridiculous, balls-to-the-wall spectacle yet, and it certainly lives up to its billing.

Ever since previous fan favourites were cherry-picked to inexplicably form the gang of ass-kickers-for-hire the movies are now built around, the cast has rapidly expanded and individuals have been reduced to little more than the odd one-liner. When Dwayne Johnson's oiled man-mountain Hobbs was introduced to add some spice and charisma to a stagnant series, Vin Diesel found himself in the awkward position of hogging screen-time from an actor everyone would rather be seeing. This is very much Diesel's product and he takes things very seriously, so Fast & Furious 8 sees the two split up into two very tonally different story lines, in a move that may have been made to satisfy the needs of both actors, or to simply keep the two away from each other. Johnson made comments on social media criticising a certain cast member's behaviour, in a thinly-disguised jab at Diesel. The tension isn't evident in the final movie, but it does mean you're likely to spend half the time wishing you were with the former wrestler, especially when he teams up with the returning Jason Statham.

Dom growls and mumbles before turning his back on the gang when his honeymoon with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is rudely interrupted by a hacker known as Cipher (Charlize Theron), who blackmails the big lug into stealing an EMP device. Enter exposition device Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and, for some reason, his partner played by Scott Eastwood, who round up the former car-jackers and criminals to steal it back before chaos is unleashed. And so the two stories unfold: One a moody drama that often turns quite violent, and the weirdly erotically-charged, but nevertheless amusing, penis-comparing adventures of Johnson and Statham. When you're watching a movie in which a submarine is 'jacked', it's clear that the mood of the latter better suits the franchise. Diesel's brooding and Theron's phoning-in don't make for particularly entertaining viewing, especially when it follows a scene of hacked autonomous CGI cars swarming through the city streets like a hoard of fast-moving zombies.

Characters seem to fill every inch of the screen, and it was a struggle to remember just what roles returning actors Elsa Pataky, Luke Evans and Djimon Honsou had played previously, although anoraks will have no trouble. To say it is a convoluted mess driven by a McGuffin would be an understatement, and it could be argued that this plot has been done before a few films ago. Nevertheless Fast & Furious 8 delivers when it fires up the nitrous oxide. While there's nothing to match Hobbs' Gatling-gun rampage in part 7, there is a punchy prison breakout scene, Tyrese Gibson ice-skating on a car door, and the aforementioned submarine. You came here for fast cars, and they are worked into the story whether it makes logical sense or not. If only Diesel would lighten up and not take a series built on fun so damn seriously, this could have been so much better. Fingers crossed for the Johnson/Statham spin-off though.


Directed by: F. Gary Gray
Starring: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Charlize Theron, Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood, Nathalie Emmanuel
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #902: 'Fast & Furious 7' (2015)

Pieced back together in the wake of Paul Walker's tragic death in an automobile accident in 2013, the seventh instalment of the Fast & Furious franchise comes with a morbid sense of curiosity. Just how much of the original movie remains, and how will long-serving series advocate Vin Diesel and newcomer director James Wan deal with the fate of Walker's character Brian O'Connor? Thankfully, anyone trying to spot the CGI trickery and attempting to tell Walker from either of his stand-in real-life brothers will be disappointed (although there are some questionable camera angles), and the climactic send-off could not have been more moving.

Fast & Furious 7's (or simply Furious 7 given its alternate title) problems lie elsewhere. Whether it be the cast, the running time, the plot, or the sheer amount of carnage played out on screen, the movie is as bloated as Dwayne Johnson's neck. We have finally caught up to the events of the third instalment, Tokyo Drift (2003), and the gang of loveable ex-cons, ex-cops and gear-heads are drawn out of retirement by the extremely pissed British special forces assassin Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), who happens to be the older brother of the baddie from the sixth film Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) and is hell-bent on revenge. Sadly, as a straight-forward revenge story is no longer enough to satisfy the masses, Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and his crew are also tasked by a shady government agent dubbed Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) to track down God's Eye, an omniscient piece of spy software.

The franchise is now so removed from its original premise of an undercover cop trying to bust a gang of hijackers, that the sight of Dwayne Johnson's oiled and impossibly ripped cop Hobbs firing a huge Gatling gun at a helicopter in the streets during the film's climax will come as no surprise. Characters have died and come back to life, and now display martial arts skills so refined that they can take down the likes of Rhonda Rousey and Tony Jaa in a fist-fight. They are now superheroes, capable of cracking their necks and shaking off a wrench-blow to the head. The preposterousness of it all means that the film-makers are now simply looking to make things bigger than they were last time rather than taking the time of building tension or making things coherent.

So, only two set-pieces really get the adrenaline going - one involving Brian escaping from a coach dangling over the edge of a cliff, and the face-off between the bald pit-bulls Diesel and Statham, as the two go at each other with bits of car wreckage. The film is at its best in it's quieter moments, where comedy-relief characters Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Ludacris) squabble over the attentions of super-hacker Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel), and Dom and his wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), still suffering from amnesia, try to piece together their relationship (though Dom ramming the idea of family being the most important thing down our throats is getting a bit old). Despite it's gaping flaws, there's still something oddly addictive about this series and I'm eager to see if even more sequels will come. and the loving tribute to Walker at the end will bring a tear to the eye of even the most hardened petrol head.


Directed by: James Wan
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Dwayne Johnson, Kurt Russell, Nathalie Emmanuel
Country: USA/Japan

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #832: 'Fast & Furious 6' (2013)

There was once a time when this franchise retained a shred of realism. At the climax of the first film, The Fast and the Furious (2001), there is a moment in which a character must make a life-or-death leap from a moving truck into a moving car, both travelling at super-high speed along a straight road. Following the series' and its characters transition from loveable rogue criminals who dabbled in robberies and drag racing, into a super-group of international ass-kicking Robin Hood types, such distractions as the laws of physics are no longer an issue. Yes, this is the daftest entry yet, but the series shows no signs of fatigue, and, judging by the ever-increasing box office receipts, it won't be throwing in the towel any time soon.

After reaping the rewards of their multi-million dollar heist in the previous film, Fast Five (2011), the Fast & Furious gang are scattered and enjoying living the high life. Dom (Vin Diesel) is shacked up with Elena (Elsa Pataky), and Brian (Paul Walker) has seen the birth of his son Jack with Mia (Jordana Brewster). Han (Sung Kang) is in Hong Kong with Gisele (Gal Gadot), and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Taj (Ludacris) are indulging in a life of private plans, expensive suits, and an entourage of babes. However, their retirement is interrupted by the arrival of D.S.S. agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), who brings Dom the shocking news that we were teased with in the post-credits scene of the fifth movie.

Dom's former girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), believed to have been murdered in the fourth movie, Fast & Furious (2009), is in fact alive and kicking, and working with international terrorist Shaw (Luke Evans), a Brit whose criminal philosophies come into direct contrast with that of Dom's. To Shaw, his team are little more than moveable pieces to be manipulated and sacrificed for his own gain, while Dom believes in the sanctity of 'family'. After a thrilling set-piece involving Shaw escaping in a custom-made racing car through the streets of London (clearly the film-makers have never seen the traffic in the capital), Dom comes across Letty for the first time, who in return shoots Dom without blinking. It appears amnesia is to blame.

You have to hand it to long-serving franchise helmer Justin Lin, who is given the task of increasing the ante with every film, and always having to involve cars. And what better road vehicle to employ to increase the carnage than a tank? We get that and a plane, in what feels like the longest runway take-off ever seen on screen. As long as the plane is still on the ground, it doesn't stand a chance against Dom and co. With their evolution from petty criminals into fully-fledged heroes comes an inexplicable ability for hand-to-hand fighting. We get Letty take on series newcomer Riley (Gina Carano from 2011's Haywire) with roundhouse kicks and wrestling moves, and a slow-motion leaping headbutt from Diesel in what proves the film's giddiest, must ludicrous moment. And with the series finally catching up to the events seen in Tokyo Drift (2006), we are offered a glimpse at the next film's antagonist, which, I'm rather ashamed to say, is an exciting moment indeed.


Directed by: Justin Lin
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Ludacris, Luke Evans, Gina Carano, Elsa Pataky
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #830: 'Fast Five' (2011)

Usually, the fifth instalment of a long-running franchise is a re-hash of what made the original so popular, becoming increasingly tiresome in the process. 2009's fourth entry, Fast & Furious, which saw the core cast members return from a two film hiatus, was surprisingly fun, being less about flashy cars, nameless gyrators and the underground world of street racing, and focused more on the 'family' of criminals to whom the plot was centred around. Returning director Justin Lin, who has been on board since 2006's Tokyo Drift, continues this idea and makes a movie more exciting and action-packed than the one's that came before.

After rescuing their friend Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) from a lengthy jail term, Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) and his girlfriend Mia (Jordana Brewster) flee to Rio de Janeiro to evade capture. Whilst they await the arrival of Dom, they pull a job with old acquaintance Vince (Matt Schulze), from the first movie, capturing a set of cars seized by the D.E.A. on their way, by train, to the U.S. When they discover that two of their crew are only interested in one car, Dom - who arrives mid-heist - gets Mia to steal it herself and the rest barely escape with their lives. The car turns out to be the property of drug lord Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida), and contains a microchip detailing the whereabouts of his $100 million fortune.

In an attempt to open the franchise up to a wider audience, Fast Five sees the series change from underground street racing and petty criminality to full-on fisticuff action, bagging a huge ensemble to support it's aspirations to be a heist movie. And it works. This is still stuff of the cheesiest variety, ignoring the laws of physics and asking us to suspend our beliefs far too often, but the idea of these criminals - who evolve into Robin Hood-types - who help each other like a family is nice. Lin brings back familiar faces Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges), Han (Sung Kang), and Gisele (Gal Gadot), but it's a newcomer that steals the show.

As Hobbs, the enormous, baby-oiled D.S.S. agent assigned to capture Dom and his crew, Dwayne Johnson proves to be a great addition. With his ridiculous size, he's a credible threat to the likes of Dom, and their scenes together, including one inevitable smack-down, are laced with testosterone and a bit of humour, two things that Johnson does remarkably well. The main set-piece involves two cars dragging a stolen safe through the city streets, leaving a wave of destruction in their path. It's a gleefully ridiculous climax, and Lin proves himself wise by using minimal CGI. It doesn't break any boundaries or offer anything new to the genre, but it's a satisfying way to spend two hours with your brain on auto pilot mode.


Directed by: Justin Lin
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Dwayne Johnson, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Matt Schulze, Elsa Pataky
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #815: '2 Fast 2 Furious' (2003)

With Vin Diesel establishing himself as a star following roles in the excellent Pitch Black (2000) and the first The Fast and the Furious (2001) movie, Diesel chose not to star in 2 Fast 2 Furious, a sequel that amps up the action and car-porn but notably lacks the charisma and easy-going goofiness that made the first entry such an easy watch. Diesel bailed to make that hugely-memorable action film A Man Apart (anyone?), and is replaced by Tyrese Gibson, who certainly has the energy but lacks the star quality of the man whose void he is charged with filling. The amusingly-titled 2 Fast 2 Furious has no brains at all, and barely enough balls or originality to back it up.

After allowing wanted criminal Dominic Toretto (Diesel) to evade capture at the climax of the first film, Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) has been discharged from the L.A.P.D. and finds himself on the run. With no income, he pays his way by participating in high-speed drag races, organised and refereed by Tej (Ludacris). After winning a race and fleeing the scene with the arrival of the cops, Brian is captured when his car is disabled by a ESD grappling hook. His former boss, FBI agent Bilkins (Thom Barry) throws him an offer - if he assists with a joint FBI-Customs sting to bring down violent drug-lord Carter Verone (Cole Hauser), his record will be wiped clean. Brian accepts on one condition - he chooses his own partner. Enter old friend and ex-jailbird Roman Pearce (Gibson).

For fans of the franchise, the first sequel in a series that has now reached seven offers everything you would expect - bromance, pimped-out auto-mobiles, mild violence, and Eva Mendes in a white bikini. What it doesn't offer is a plot, credibility or anything remotely resembling a decent script. Walker, who commands top bill for a second time, is perfectly likeable but lacks charisma or star quality. He and Gibson share a little chemistry, but they say little to each other apart from calling each other 'brah' a lot and talking to each other in their separate cars when they cannot hear each other. Hauser is unconvincing as a Colombian drug lord and his character is wafer-thin, and the way he goes about his business borders on the plain stupid. Hardly a trial to watch, but is offensively brainless at times.


Directed by: John Singleton
Starring: Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes, Cole Hauser, Ludacris, Thom Barry
Country: USA/Germany

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #228: 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon' (2011)

Big, loud, with various incomprehensible objects gesticulating in front of the screen; must be a Michael Bay film. The first Transformers (2007) film surprised me. A film based on childhood toys, and their 20 minute narrative adverts, about robots that can change into vehicles and other such objects, should not have worked. And to boot, directed by a well known pyrotechnics obsessive, and general hack of bullshit. But the first film had a certain charm, which was elevated by the Shia LeBeouf performance, which pretty much catapulted him, and encouraged Steven Spielberg (also executive producer of all the films) to take him as a new toy. After the debacle of the second in the series, 2009's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the fans and general audience wanted a Tranformers film that was as thrilling, funny, and silly as the first. Well, the idea is quite neat.

Turns out that the 1969 moon landing was not carried out just cause we could. No, it happens that there was something "alien" on the dark side of said moon. So Buzz Aldrin et al had the top secret mission of taking a peek at the craft that crash landed. And that craft was, of course, one that was occupied by some dead Autobots. Back to the present day and Sam Whitwicky (LeBeouf) has been shunned by the government that works with the Decepticons, and has to get a regular job. As Megan Fox was essentially sacked from the franchise for suggesting that Bay was like Hitler, we are led to believe that Sam has got himself a new stunner of a girlfriend (as Sam's mum states in a later scene, he must have a big cock!). So we are introduced to Carley (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's lips on legs), in a simple, tracking shot that follows her legs and arse: nice! She has a nice body, but her face is dominated by over-sized lips, and is about as charismatic as a transformer that can't transform: i.e. a van.

What transpires is a series of battles, instigated by some objects that have the potential of bringing the robot world through space and time to occupy planet Earth. Humans have been working with the Decepticons for years, which has helped them get information from various companies. When this action begins, the main setting is Chicago. An alien invasion-style visual style takes over, many scenes looking very similar to 2005's War of the Worlds.

The film does have some effective action sequences, but doesn't really deliver anything different that the previous sequel. Basically, it's rubbish. What always amazes me about these kind of films, is that we have developed our English language, that apparently also developed in a civilisation of robots, that existed in parallel in a distant galaxy. Well done Mr Bay, you have released yet another film littered with CGI spunk stains. Plus, the toy company, Hasbro, has a new film to sell their new line of transformers toys!! I have discovered recently that the new toys are not easy to transform, not like the ease of their 80's counterparts.


Directed by: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand, Kevin Dunn, John Malkovich
Country: USA

Rating: **

Marc Ivamy