Review #1,221: 'Fast & Furious 8' (2017)

By the time Paul Walker bailed and Vin Diesel only bothered to show up for a wink-and-a-smile cameo back in 2003 with the third instalment in the Fast & Furious franchise, Tokyo Drift, it seemed like the series started by Rob Cohen in 2001 as an entertaining Point Break rip-off was done and dusted. 14 years later, the eighth entry sits happily as the eleventh highest-grossing movie of all time, raking in a whopping $1.2 billion at the box-office. Having evolved from low-key crime thrillers with a street-racing twist to all-out, physics-defying spy adventure blockbusters, audiences are clearly not done with Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and his street-hood 'family'. The film's alternate title of The Fate of the Furious - keeping up with the series' trend of frustratingly difficult-to-follow title meddling - suggests that this may be the most ridiculous, balls-to-the-wall spectacle yet, and it certainly lives up to its billing.

Ever since previous fan favourites were cherry-picked to inexplicably form the gang of ass-kickers-for-hire the movies are now built around, the cast has rapidly expanded and individuals have been reduced to little more than the odd one-liner. When Dwayne Johnson's oiled man-mountain Hobbs was introduced to add some spice and charisma to a stagnant series, Vin Diesel found himself in the awkward position of hogging screen-time from an actor everyone would rather be seeing. This is very much Diesel's product and he takes things very seriously, so Fast & Furious 8 sees the two split up into two very tonally different story lines, in a move that may have been made to satisfy the needs of both actors, or to simply keep the two away from each other. Johnson made comments on social media criticising a certain cast member's behaviour, in a thinly-disguised jab at Diesel. The tension isn't evident in the final movie, but it does mean you're likely to spend half the time wishing you were with the former wrestler, especially when he teams up with the returning Jason Statham.

Dom growls and mumbles before turning his back on the gang when his honeymoon with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is rudely interrupted by a hacker known as Cipher (Charlize Theron), who blackmails the big lug into stealing an EMP device. Enter exposition device Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and, for some reason, his partner played by Scott Eastwood, who round up the former car-jackers and criminals to steal it back before chaos is unleashed. And so the two stories unfold: One a moody drama that often turns quite violent, and the weirdly erotically-charged, but nevertheless amusing, penis-comparing adventures of Johnson and Statham. When you're watching a movie in which a submarine is 'jacked', it's clear that the mood of the latter better suits the franchise. Diesel's brooding and Theron's phoning-in don't make for particularly entertaining viewing, especially when it follows a scene of hacked autonomous CGI cars swarming through the city streets like a hoard of fast-moving zombies.

Characters seem to fill every inch of the screen, and it was a struggle to remember just what roles returning actors Elsa Pataky, Luke Evans and Djimon Honsou had played previously, although anoraks will have no trouble. To say it is a convoluted mess driven by a McGuffin would be an understatement, and it could be argued that this plot has been done before a few films ago. Nevertheless Fast & Furious 8 delivers when it fires up the nitrous oxide. While there's nothing to match Hobbs' Gatling-gun rampage in part 7, there is a punchy prison breakout scene, Tyrese Gibson ice-skating on a car door, and the aforementioned submarine. You came here for fast cars, and they are worked into the story whether it makes logical sense or not. If only Diesel would lighten up and not take a series built on fun so damn seriously, this could have been so much better. Fingers crossed for the Johnson/Statham spin-off though.


Directed by: F. Gary Gray
Starring: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Charlize Theron, Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood, Nathalie Emmanuel
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,220: 'Kong: Skull Island' (2017)

The title of this latest movie to feature cinema's most famous giant ape, King Kong, refers to the beast's misty and unexplored home in Indonesia, or the Pacific Ocean, or the Indian Ocean, depending on which incarnation you happen to be watching. It's a world known to movie fans to be full of prehistoric or unnaturally gigantic monsters, and things are very much the same in Jordan Vogt-Roberts' entertaining big-budget update. Anyone fearing a retread of the story told back in 1933 and never bettered since can relax, as Kong: Skull Island is less interested in exploring the incredibly fragile relationship between man and nature than it is with smashing helicopters to pieces in front of a gorgeous sunset.

Both a follow-up to 2014's Godzilla and a build-up to the upcoming smack-down cross-over between two of the big screen's most famous abominations, Kong carries on the tone by making its human characters infinitely less interesting than the big guy we all came to see. Early trailers and posters before the film's release teased a tone akin to the great Vietnam War movies, especially Apocalypse Now, but there are little similarities other than the famous shot from Coppola's movie of helicopters flying by a setting sun and the 1973 setting. This is big, dumb fun, and little more, but that is by no means a bad thing. Peter Jackson tried earnestly back in 2005 to tell the traditional story with a mixture of heart and spectacle, with mixed results. It climaxed with the ape's relocation to the mainland and his tragic end at the top of the Empire State Building, but here, once government agents/scientists Bill Randa (John Goodman) and Houston Brooks (Corey Hawkins) seal the required funds and hit the island, we never leave.

At just shy of 2 hours, Skull Island struggles to handle the unnecessarily expansive cast of characters, and boy are they bland. Tom Hiddleston's British Special Forces captain James Conrad (an obvious nod to Heart of Darkness author Joseph Conrad) is the closest thing we have to a lead, but this is only because he is handsome and warns the others of danger. They are escorted by Samuel L. Jackson's Preston Packard, a Lieutenant Colonel in charge of a helicopter squadron called the Sky Devils whose idea of scientific study is to bomb the shit out of the island upon arrival. Among the rag-tag bunch of monkey-food soldiers are the grizzled Cole (Shea Whigham), and Jack Chapman (Toby Kebbell, who also performs the motion-capture for Kong), an eager-to-please young buck with a questionable American accent. In a somewhat baffling move, they also invite photojournalist Mason Weaver (Brie Larson) on a mission you would expect the Army to want to keep quiet.

At one point, I counted three concurrent storylines. Supporting characters such as John Ortiz's Nieves and Tian Jing's San are played by familiar faces but serve absolutely no purpose, and only John C. Reilly's stranded World War II veteran Hank Marlow brings any heart and soul to the story. Yet, Roberts knows how to make carnage look incredibly cool, and this is the meanest, leanest and biggest Kong to date. Helicopters are torn to shreds, a giant octopus (living in fresh water?) is brutally devoured, and soldiers are swallowed whole - Kong doesn't have time to share a tender moment with a beautiful woman lying in his palm. When the action shifts away from the puny humans and to the titular powerhouse, the film is so damn exciting that you can, for a short time, forgive the film's many misgivings and cliches. It's unlikely that the 1933 original will ever be topped, so it's pleasing that Kong: Skull Island at least makes an attempt to try something a little different. For a B-movie dressed up as an A-movie with only one memorable character who isn't simian, it certainly entertains.


Directed by: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John C. Reilly, John Goodman, Corey Hawkins, Toby Kebbell, Shea Whigham
Country: USA/China/Australia/Canada

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,219: 'I Am Not a Serial Killer' (2016)

Last year, Netflix unleashed one of its bigger hits to date - the nostalgic, creepy and ridiculously entertaining Stranger Things. Set in the 1980s, the show quickly garnered a legion of fans old enough to have grown up on the blockbuster classics of Steven Spielberg, as well as attracting younger viewers drawn to its mystery and lovable characters. While Stranger Things itself may have been influenced by J.J. Abrams' throwback Super 8, the show's success can certainly be felt throughout cinema. One such film is Billy O'Brien's I Am Not a Serial Killer, adapted from Dan Wells' young adult novel of the same name, which manages to hide its low budget roots incredibly well and deliver an interesting character study with a supernatural edge.

Teenager John Wayne Cleaver (Max Records) shows all the signs of being a future serial killer. He is well aware that his sinister thoughts and general disdain for humanity do not bode well, and openly tells his therapist so. In order to ensure that he doesn't commit a terrible act he cannot take back, John follows a strict set of rules, including responding to abuse by paying a compliment. It hasn't prevented him from developing a reputation as a freak among his fellow students in high school, but he does enjoy an easy-going friendship with his elderly neighbour, Mr. Crowley (Christopher Lloyd). In his spare time, John helps out his mother (Laura Fraser) with the family funeral home business, where he gets to stare with intense curiosity at the cadavers being readied for embalming. When the town is hit by an organ-stealing murderer, John uses his encyclopaedic knowledge of serial killers to carry out his own investigation.

It's to O'Brien's credit that he has managed to sculpt such an impressive-looking piece out of such a modest budget. It has a grungy, 90s aesthetic with a soundtrack including the likes of Donovan and Norman Greenbaum, but with the way it explores its dark subject matter and troubled protagonist, also feels contemporary. The less known about the film the better, as what little I had heard about it before going in led me to believe that I would be getting a serious study of a young sociopath, but this is only half of the story. The young Records, last seen in 2009's Where the Wild Things Are as an eleven year-old, plays the psycho with a heart of gold with a weirdly endearing blend of creepiness and fragility, and Lloyd gives one of his career-best as one of John's prime suspects. It has its flaws, and your enjoyment of the film may depend on how much genre-mixing you can stomach, but this is an odd yet compelling little indie.


Directed by: Billy O'Brien
Starring: Max Records, Christopher Lloyd, Laura Fraser, Karl Geary
Country: Ireland/UK/USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,218: 'The Thomas Crown Affair' (1968)

Some movies rely on the chemistry of their lead co-stars in order to engage their audience, hoping that the thrill of watching two sexy movie-stars romancing and eventually getting it on with each other will provide sufficient escapism to make the reality lurking outside seem a world away. It's difficult to think of a film as reliant on the raw sex appeal of its superstars than Norman Jewison's 1968 heist thriller The Thomas Crown Affair, and Steve McQueen, as the titular millionaire playboy, and Faye Dunaway, as the sultry insurance investigator hot on his tail, positively sizzle with chemistry. In fact, they are so gorgeous that they manage to turn a game of chess into a playful game of seduction. The duo have certainly given much better performances during their careers, but they have never looked so good.

This pretty much sums up The Thomas Crown Affair: a polished, colourful star vehicle with an unashamedly glossy veneer. At the very centre of the story is a bank heist gone right, masterminded by the rather smug Thomas Crown (McQueen) after he handpicks his crew without ever letting them see his face. The thieves escape with over 2 million dollars, and nobody, including the rather clueless Detective Eddy Malone (Paul Burke), has any idea who it was. Enter Vicki Anderson (Dunaway), a no-nonsense independent woman with a love of the finer things in life. She quickly figures out that Crown was behind it all, but remains puzzled at why a man with everything would want to steal money he doesn't need. Of course, it's all a game, and the couple start their own game of cat-and-mouse as they embark on a steam affair.

Taking inspiration from the Expo 67 film A Place to Stand, which greatly impressed McQueen, Jewison employs 'multi-dynamic image technique', splitting the screen into sections with each part showing a different viewpoint. It gives the film a unique style, especially during the opening heist, and when combined with 60s kitsch, everything is wonderful to look at. While the visuals still impress, the characters are somewhat dated. He's the rich, philandering charmer, and she is bowled over by his fast-living and expensive possessions. It makes it all the more difficult to warm to a character I would detest in real life, but McQueen has more than enough charisma to pull through. There are never any real stakes, but it's pretty fun while it lasts, just a little hollow at its centre. The Pierce Brosnan/Rene Russo remake from 1999 makes for a more satisfying ride.


Directed by: Norman Jewison
Starring: Steve McQueen, Faye Dunaway, Paul Burke, Jack Weston, Yaphet Kotto
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,217: 'Life' (2017)

When promotion started for Daniel Espinosa's space-set horror, a popular fan theory emerged that the movie was in fact an origin film for Sony's upcoming Venom movie, in which an alien symbiote arrives on Earth and attaches itself to Spider-Man, or so the comics and Sam Raimi's terrible Spider-Man 3 go. It speaks volumes about fans' eagerness to attach an original story to some ongoing franchise as part of a bigger, expanding world, as is the fad nowadays brought on by the success of Marvel's nine-year strong 'cinematic universe'. Life is not a Venom origin movie, but is in fact a throwback to popular, adult genre movies that flourished in the 1970s and 80s, although the potential for sequels is purposely there. That said, you have no doubt seen this movie before, as it rests comfortably into a well-worn formula and has no qualms about its own lack of originality.

The crew of the International Space Station manage to pull of the dangerous feat of capturing a fast-moving probe returning from Mars carrying soil samples. The six-strong team, captained by Russian Ekaterina (Olga Dihovichnaya), quickly discover that the package contains evidence of alien life in the form of dormant cells. Biologist Dr. Hugh Derry (Ariyon Bakare) manages to revive one cell by turning up the temperature, witnessing the alien's rapid growth and quick-learning. Back on Earth, school children name the discovery 'Calvin', but on the space station the creature becomes aggressive, attacking Derry and causing the rest of the crew, consisting of medical officer David Jordan (Jake Gyllenhaal), quarantine officer Miranda North (Rebecca Ferguson), pilot Sho Murakami (Hiroyuki Sanada) and wise-cracking engineer Rory Adams (Ryan Reynolds), to flee for their lives. Soon enough, preventing Calvin from reaching Earth becomes the top priority.

Drawing inspiration from the swirling camerawork of Gravity, the horror bursts of Event Horizon, the culturally diverse line-up of Sunshine, and, most of all, the claustrophobic man-versus-beast panic of genre classic Alien, Life offers nothing new to the genre, and will likely be all but forgotten in a few years. If you're expecting atmosphere, characterisation, gore or surprises, this is not that movie. However, your enjoyment of the film will depend on how quickly you come to accept the formulaic way it goes about its business, and the sooner the better. While it's nothing like the dizzying innovation of Gravity, Espinosa's film offers some spectacular visuals, blurring the line between reality and CGI. It also feels short, which is always a good thing. Life is a time-waster; something to switch your brain off to and kill 100 minutes. You may wait for a twist or the story to change direction, but it doesn't, and when the film attempts to deliver a surprise, chances are you'll have already guessed it.


Directed by: Daniel Espinosa
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dihovichnaya
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,216: 'Overlord' (1975)

Stuart Cooper's Overlord is a meditation on the mechanics of war and the young souls swept into it. After winning the Silver Bear at the 25th Berlin International Film Festival, the film became incredibly obscure until recently, when it was given the restoration it deserved by the lovely folks at Criterion. Beginning in a quaint English home and ending on the beaches of Normandy for 'Operation Overlord' during World War II, it's a simple yet hypnotic story of a young private named Tom (Brian Stirner) and his slow journey to a death he feels is inevitable. The very first scene shows an out-of-focus soldier running from or towards an unknown threat before being shot down, only to be revealed as a dream sequence. This vision plagues Tom's thoughts, but he nevertheless remains somewhat chipper about it.

What makes this very personal journey so incredibly powerful is the sense of impending doom. Tom always seems to be on the move, be it on a train or an army jeep, as if he is making a slow trek towards his fate, and he chooses this time to daydream. Despite not knowing where the war is heading or if he'll even see combat, he somehow knows he is going to die but remains nonchalant about it. A nice boy, well spoken and slight, Tom is not built for the army, but he does what he is told and makes friends. The only time we really see his personality come to the fore is when he meets a pretty young lady (Julie Neesam) and the pair enjoy what little time they have together. He tells her they'll meet again, but we know they won't. In making Tom such an everyman, Overlord studies the anonymity of battle, and celebrates the millions of unknown soldiers who have charged into certain death without really understanding why.

Starting out life as a documentary, Cooper later made the bold decision to use the startling archive footage provided by the Imperial War Museum and weave a narrative through it. Cinematographer John Alcott (who collaborated with Stanley Kubrick on the likes of 2001: A Space Odyssey and Barry Lyndon) employs grainy black-and-white photography for the central story so it is interchangeable with the stock footage. The result is staggering. By adding sound, scenes of devastating city bombings become hellish nightmares, and a beach landing turns into something out of science-fiction. In a bizarre scene, a water wheel device powered by mini rockets rolls across the water and onto land, hoping to detonate any landmines or unexploded bombs before mightily toppling over. It's World War II like you've never seen it before, and it's real. It's a winning combination of observational and personal, making Overlord one of the most innovative and devastating humanist war films ever made.


Directed by: Stuart Cooper
Starring: Brian Stirner, Davyd Harries, Nicholas Ball, Julie Neesam
Country: UK

Rating: *****

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,215: 'Maniac' (2012)

William Lustig's original Maniac, released in 1981, was both a personal project for lead character actor Joe Spinell, who also co-wrote the screenplay, and an exercise in exploitation scuzziness destined for grindhouse notoriety. For all the flaws that came with such a low-budget guerilla horror movie, it was an interesting portrayal of an unhinged killer bolstered by an impressive, underrated performance from the genuinely intimidating Spinell. As the trend goes these days, it was always destined for a remake, and this 2012 update from director Franck Khalfoun and producer Alexandre Aja at least attempts to be its own movie by making the risky decisions of shooting the entire thing POV style from the psychopath's perspective, and in casting baby-faced nice guy Elijah Wood as the titular maniac.

Frank Zito (Wood) is a mannequin restorer living a reclusive lifestyle in his dingy store. By day he obsessively fiddles with his antiques and talks to the voices in his head, but by night he stalks the streets for potential prey. He meets a pretty photographer named Anna (Nora Arnezeder) who is impressed with his collection and wants to utilise them for her art opening, and the two seem to hit it off. Frank becomes enamoured but doesn't want to kill her, so he scours dating sites for unwitting victims instead. He has a fondness for scalping his victims after they have been strangled, and decorates his mannequins with them as he tries to recreate the various women in his life, including his mother, who we learn from flashbacks was promiscuous to say the least. Alone in his room, Frank communicates with the figures, using insect repellent as the flies gather around the decomposing flesh. With Anna, he seems to have finally developed a normal, sustainable relationship, until he finds out she has a boyfriend.

A lot of positive things have been said about Maniac, from the ambitious technical approach to the against-type performance from Wood. While it gets tiresome rather quickly, the POV gimmick is at least interesting, forcing us to try empathise with a remorseless monster as he carries out his heinous crimes, and offering only glimpses of Wood's saucer-eyes in reflections. Yet Wood is merely okay in the role, and most of the plaudits seem to stem from the fact that film plays with our expectations in casting an actor of such small physical stature. Although, in his defence, he spends the majority of time off-screen. The remainder of Maniac consists of extreme, ugly violence towards women, sensationalised ever further by the visual gimmickry on show, and late night chases through inexplicably abandoned streets, where all roads lead to dark alleyways. This schlock approach could almost be forgiven if the film had the aesthetic and mood to get under your skin (something the original succeeded in doing), but it doesn't. It's certainly something gore-hounds will love, but I enjoy my horror served with more substance.


Directed by: Franck Khalfoun
Starring: Elijah Wood, Nora Arnezeder, Genevieve Alexandra, Jan Broberg
Country: France/USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,214: 'Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope' (1977)

When sitting down to pen a review of such a colossal slice of cinema as George Lucas' original Star Wars, it's difficult to know quite where to start. What can be said about this movie that hasn't already been discussed to death by nerds, or studied to no end by film historians? Chances are you'll have already seen the movie and either love it or hate it, or you're one of those strange beings who has reached adulthood without seeing any of the series and have no doubt already formed a dismissive opinion of the space opera. The best approach is to simply talk about the film from a personal point of view, as if any movie has had such a personal effect on an audience, it's Star Wars. I'll state from the off that A New Hope - Episode 4 in Lucas' sweeping epic, but released first - was never my favourite as a child. That honour went to Return of the Jedi, the movie I now consider to be the worst by far of the original trilogy.

For those who haven't seen it yet, Star Wars is set "a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away." The galaxy is in a state of civil war, and the threat of the Galactic Empire - led by the powerful Darth Vader - looms large, quite literally. Their latest weapon in the war is the Death Star; a moon-sized space station capable of destroying entire planets with the push of a button. Luckily for the Rebel Alliance, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) gets her hands on the plans to the Death Star, which reveal a flaw in its construction that could be exploited to destroy it. She uploads the plans to droid R2-D2 (Kenny Baker) and sends him to find Obi-Wan Kenobi, who is currently laying low on desert planet Tatooine. The rather cute robot eventually comes into the possession of young farmer Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), who believes the message may be for the reclusive old man Ben Kenobi (Alec Guinness). After locating the former Jedi, Luke starts to learn about the Force - a supernatural power derived from the galaxy's natural energy. Teaming up with smuggler Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Luke must get the plans to the Rebels before the Empire seize control.

Visiting it again at least 15 years since I last saw it, and coming off the back of watching the prequel trilogy first in my re-viewing, the film shone in a whole new light. From a cinephile's perspective, the influence of some of cinema's greats is as clear as day, something that escaped me as a child. Science fiction classics such as Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, Nicolas Roeg's The Man Who Fell to Earth and the 1936 version of Flash Gordon immediately came to mind, but George Lucas made sure Star Wars also felt fresh and new. He did this by blending space battles, humanoid droids and laser gun with an old-fashioned sensibility. This drew from the westerns of John Ford and Howard Hawks and the period adventures of Akira Kurosawa just as much as pulp science-fiction, and the result was something that audiences had never experienced before. It was a smash hit and quickly became a pop culture phenomenon, inspiring a whole generation of geeks to bring their own personal visions to the screen.

But Lucas also brings his own cards to the table in the form of some of the most bizarre and memorable collection of droids, monsters and aliens ever brought to the screen. There's the Sand People, the Jawas, Chewbacca the Wookie (Peter Mayhew), bickering robots C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) and R2-D2 (although they are clearly a rip-off of the peasants from Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress), and of course that weird band of creatures playing in the bar. With such imagination on display, it's hard to believe that the best Lucas could come up with 22 years later was Jar-Jar Binks. The humans fare well too, with Ford on the top of his charm game, and Guinness bringing a thespian gravitas to the fantasy world. With the nightmare of the prequels over and the rights to the franchise now out of Lucas' tinkering hands, fans can now sleep somewhat easier, but Lucas will remain forever beloved for the work he did here back in 1977. He really should be remembered for that and not as the joke he became in his later career, and no doubt this cinematic milestone will continue to astound young audiences for plenty of years to come.


Directed by: George Lucas
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness, Peter Cushing, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew
Country: USA

Rating: *****

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,213: 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith' (2005)

For the third time in six years, I left the cinema back in 2005 after a screening of the eagerly anticipated conclusion to George Lucas' Star Wars prequel trilogy with a smile on my face, and satisfied with a decent addition to the franchise canon. Yet again, as time went by, I felt my opinion towards the film rapidly decline after subsequent viewings. I decided to re-visit the Star Wars series again in the hope of finding some unique charm to the prequels, be it nostalgia or just my general love for the universe I frequently visited as a child. Yet there is little fun to be had with Episodes I-III, and the films now seem more rigid, humourless and just plain boring as they ever did. Revenge of the Sith does offer some slight relief however, and ends the trilogy on a minor high thanks mainly to a darkness Lucas had promised previously but failed to deliver.

The plot is more convoluted than ever, jumping ahead three years from the events of Attack of the Clones and having to explain the events in between. The galaxy is now in a state of civil war, and Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) are on a mission to rescue the kidnapped Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) from the wheezing Separatist leader General Grievous (voiced by Matthew Wood). With the Chancellor now safe to spread his mischief throughout the Republic while Jedi Masters Yoda (Frank Oz) and Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) remain powerless and clueless to his influence, Anakin reunites with his secret wife Padme (Natalie Portman), who reveals herself to be pregnant. Elsewhere in the galaxy, Obi-Wan heads out to confront Grievous, while Yoda travels to a distant planet to prepare for an invasion.

Much of the build-up of the previous two movies focused on Anakin becoming the iconic villain Darth Vader, and the events which drove him down such a dark path. With Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen tasked with handling such a complex character arc, combined with the consistently awful scripts, it's been an unconvincing journey to say the least. With so much time spent previously navigating through murky sub-plots and distracting diversions such as the development of a secret clone army, Anakin hasn't really been given the opportunity to do much other than mope around like a typical teenager and get a bit snarky with authority. Near enough the second half of the movie is primarily focused on Palpatine's influence over the brooding Jedi, so it feels a rushed sprint to fit everything in rather than the slow-build the character really needs. Naturally, there must also be an explanation as to why the Emperor is so disfigured and why Anakin has the need to wear a mask, and of course we must see Luke and Leia come into the world.

However, despite how flimsy Anakin's sudden turn to the Dark Side may be, there are some moments during his brief reign of terror that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Hats off to Lucas, as he does allow the youngster to carry out some truly heinous acts that help to understand how he became so feared by his enemies. The visuals are also quite splendid, bursting with colour and imagination, and once again Ewan McGregor tries his very best to make the script work while trying to keep up his Alec Guinness impersonation. Aside from this, Episode III is still plagued with all the problems that came before: tedious conversations, risible dialogue, awkward comedy, bad acting, and so on. Yet it scrapes a pass, as it does with most Star Wars fans, simply for not being completely terrible. It says a lot for a trilogy when a film of this quality is dubbed 'the good one'.


Directed by: George Lucas
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Frank Oz, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,212: 'Raw' (2016)

For her debut feature film, writer and director Julia Ducournau opted for the particularly taboo subject matter of cannibalism. It's a bold and admirable move, as if there's anything that gets audiences members up in arms and storming out of a movie theatre, it's the sight of a non-zombie human being chowing down on another of their kind. Making its way onto movie screens after a successful festival run, Raw arrives with both critical acclaim and a sense of notoriety, having apparently rendering festival-goers faint and puking in the aisles, to the point where the paramedics were called. As it usually the case with movies that have generated similar controversy, Raw really isn't that gruesome, and is in fact very careful and patient when delivering those squirm-in-your-seat moments.

The incredibly bright but socially awkward Justine (Garance Marillier) has been mollycoddled by her parents from a young age and raised a strict vegetarian. We meet her on her first day at veterinary school, following the same path as her parents before her, and that of her older sister Alexia (Ella Rumpf), who still attends. As she settles down for a quiet read at night, the dorm is invaded by older pupils who don balaclavas and proceed to trash the place, forcing Justine and her gay roommate Adrien (Rabah Nait Outfella), along with her fellow freshmen, into submissive behaviour before introducing them to a crazy rave. The rituals don't stop there, and the new starters must also spend a day drenched in animal blood and eat raw rabbit kidney. Of course, the eating of meat goes against Justine's beliefs, but she gobbles the kidney down after some guidance from her sister. This first taste of the forbidden seems to awaken something inside of the teenager, and she is soon covered in a nasty body rash and craving raw flesh.

Anyone reading the synopsis will likely assume this to be a story of a twisted college campus turning its pupils into blood-drinking monsters, but this is not the case. While the school is rather weird in its inauguration traditions, this is a far more personal story of sibling rivalry and sexual awakening. It could be labelled a feminist piece, but I believe its themes will be familiar to both sexes. Why these themes play out within a story of cannibalism, I don't quite know, but they provide the opportunity for some memorable set-pieces that reach Cronenbergian levels of body horror repulsiveness. The instinctive, almost absent-minded suck on the end of a severed finger will leave you open-mouthed, but Ducournau films the scene with such gravitas that it doesn't just disgust, but also represents the emergence of something primal and confusing within its protagonist. Marillier's youthful beauty and timid curiosity brings life to the character, and the actress puts herself through many difficult scenes that would have most actors turning their nose up at. Visceral and quite unforgettable, Raw is a very rare beast - an excellent cannibal movie.


Directed by: Julia Ducournau
Starring: Garance Marillier, Ella Rumpf, Rabah Nait Oufella, Laurent Lucas
Country: Italy/France/Belgium

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,211: 'Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones' (2002)

After the colossal letdown of 1999's The Phantom Menace - the Star Wars franchise's big return to our screen after a 19 year hiatus - I recall leaving the cinema back in 2002 with a smile on my face and an eagerness to see the entire thing again. After all, it had lightsaber duels, dazzling battle scenes, giant monsters, Yoda fighting, and of course, Jar Jar Binks (Ahmed Best) was reduced to little more than a blink-and-you'll-miss-him cameo. It seemed as though George Lucas had listened to the many complaints made about the previous film and took these on board when developing the next script. I did see it again at the cinema, and a few more times on DVD, and each time I disliked it more and more. It became apparent that I had blinkers on in 2002, and I was simply relieved that it wasn't the stilted mess it had been 3 years earlier. Yet Attack of the Clones is worse than The Phantom Menace, and by a long margin.

Picking up ten years after dealing with the Trade Federation's invasion of Naboo, the Republic now face a deadlier threat in a Separatist movement headed by a mysterious figure. After narrowly surviving an assassination attempt, Senator Padme Amidala (Natalia Portman) is provided with protection in the form of Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and his apprentice, the cocky yet talented Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen). It isn't long before an another attempt is made on the Senator's life and the Jedis chase down the shape-shifting would-be assassin Zam Wesell (Leeanna Walsman), but aren't able to extract any useful information before she is murdered by her bounty hunter employer. At this point, the story splits. Obi-Wan investigates a lead on the whereabouts of the bounty hunter, putting him on the path to remote planet Kamino, while Anakin is assigned to be Padme's personal bodyguard. We already know these two will birth children, so romance is afoot.

Luckily for Anakin, Padme seems to have spent their ten years apart learning how to dress and talk like a real person. Unluckily for us, these scenes of tortured glances and actual rolling through the grass are some of the series' most embarrassing endeavours. Lines such as "I don't like sand, it's course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere, not like here, here everything is soft and smooth," are spoken with a straight face as if coming from Cyrano de Bergerac, and Hayden Christensen fails to deliver these lines with even a whiff of emotion. Although he's a slight improvement on Jake Lloyd, it's easy to criticise Christensen's awkward performance, but it's difficult to imagine an actor who could convincingly make this dialogue feel remotely natural. The blame lies firmly with George Lucas, a once-great director whose years of tampering with the classic trilogy seems to have blunted his grip on reality. Even seasoned actors like Samuel L. Jackson and Ewan McGregor seem awkward in front of his camera.

The rest doesn't fare much better. During Obi-Wan's mission to Kamino, all we hear about are clones. Understandable, as they are in the title after all, but their importance to the overall story is never really made clear, not to most people outside of Star Wars fandom anyway. Jedi Masters Yoda (Frank Oz) and Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) talk about them too, but they're caught up in their own little sub-plot regarding the Separatists and the shady Count Dooku (Christopher Lee). With all Star Wars films, there's exposition from the very get-go. Attack of the Clones has ten years of history to fill in, and spends a lot of time in council meetings where characters you probably won't recognise discuss politics via some of the most on-the-nose dialogue you're likely to hear. The 15 years since the movie's release, the advancements in CGI has led to its overuse and feelings of numbness whenever a screen is festooned with a computer-generated smack-down, and so the climactic battle in Episode II only adds to the overall sense of boredom and lack of substance. At least The Phantom Menace had Liam Neeson.


Directed by: George Lucas
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Frank Oz, Samuel L. Jackson, Temuera Morrison, Christopher Lee
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,210: 'Don't Torture a Duckling' (1972)

Despite having a loyal legion of fans and cementing his name as one of the pioneers of Italian splatter, the work of the so-called 'Godfather of Gore' (a title I reserve for Herschell Gordon Lewis and nobody else), Lucio Fulci, has never completely won me over. Arguably his most popular film, Zombie Flesh Eaters, left me struggling to stay awake, and the likes of The Black Cat, The New York Ripper and Warriors of the Year 2072 range from piss-poor to tedious at best, although it could be said that these are minor works in an extensive filmography. However, I adored The Beyond and City of the Living Dead, and there is something quite spectacular about his early gialli. A Lizard in a Woman's Skin was dazzling and truly weird, and Don't Torture a Duckling, made the following year, stands on its own as one of the strangest and most engrossing thrillers to be found in the genre.

In a remote Italian village, three young boys spy on couples about to engage in sex through a barn door and later torment the local idiot and peeping tom Giuseppe (Vito Passeri). Soon enough, the boys start turning up dead, murdered and discarded in the surrounding areas. Giuseppe is arrested, but is soon released when another boy is killed while the simpleton is in custody. A media circus descends on the town, while intrigued journalist Andrea (Tomas Milian) and police chief Captain Modesti (Ugo D'Alessio) search for clues. Tongues start to wag as the beautiful Patrizia (Barbara Bouchet) arrives in town with a shady past and skimpy outfits, as she is quickly viewed with suspicion. Yet with a town full of eccentrics and loners, it's difficult to figure out just who the killer is. Is it the old nut at the top of the hill, or are the murders the result of black magic performed by demented witch Maciara (Florinda Bolkan)?

The village of Accendura and its surroundings are a beautiful backdrop for the carnage and unspeakable horror playing out in the story. The ignorance of isolated small-town folks and the dangers of pitch-fork-waving mentality seems to be the main theme, something that Fulci explored later in his zombie movie City of the Living Dead. However, themes tend to take a back-seat in a film this bonkers, and Fulci has fun lining up the band of possible suspects and weaving in convoluted red-herring sub-plots to keep the audience guessing. There are many strange moments, including a scene in which Patrizia seems unnervingly comfortable displaying her naked body in front of a nervous young boy. Fulci can't resist dabbling in a bit of gore, and it's here that Don't Torture a Duckling stutters, climaxing with an unintentionally hilarious death featuring some diabolical special effects. Still, it's up there with the director's best work, and a must-see for fans of the more out-there gialli.


Directed by: Lucio Fulci
Starring: Florinda Bolkan, Barbara Bouchet, Tomas Milian, Irene Papas
Country: Italy

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,209: 'Erik the Viking' (1989)

After the enormous success of Monty Python, the individual members of the innovative troupe started to branch out to work on their own passion projects, which often yielded fantastic results. Terry Gilliam's Time Bandits, for example, is now considered a family classic and remains a firm childhood favourite for many who grew up in the 1980s. A Fish Called Wanda, starring Python alumni John Cleese and Michael Palin was a hilariously farcical movie that went on to be Oscar nominated for Best Director and Best Screenplay, and winning for Kevin Kline's unhinged supporting turn. Some ventures, however, were less successful, although some Python loyalists may insist otherwise. Terry Jones adapted his own children's book for Erik the Viking, a movie that shares much in common with the aforementioned Time Bandits, but shares little of its sense of wonder, imagination and wit.

While on a routine raping-and-pillaging expedition, Viking Erik (Tim Robbins) realises he has grown tired of the never-ending circle of violence and misery celebrated by his people. He falls for a girl (Samantha Bond) after saving her from some of his bloodthirsty brothers, before accidentally killing her. The experience sends him seeking answers and wisdom from the wise woman Freya (Eartha Kitt), who explains to Erik that Fenrir the wolf has gobbled up the sun and plunged the world into the dark days of Ragnarok. Determined to see the sun again, Erik sets off on a quest to find the Horn Resounding which, when blown, will transport him to Asgard where he can confront the Gods. However, such a miracle will spell the end of war, thus putting blacksmiths Keitel (Gary Cady) and his underling Loki (Antony Sher) out of business, as well as threatening the reign of the brutal Halfdan the Black (John Cleese).

Erik the Viking takes Norse mythology so seriously that there are long stretches of the film during which it is easy to forget that it's a comedy. 10 or 20 minutes can easily go by without so much of a giggle, as Jones struggles to keep the tone consistent and, with an obviously limited budget, the action exciting. Still, although Erik pales in comparison to some of the wonderful work Jones has been involved in over the years, it certainly isn't a bad movie, and in no way deserves the stigma still attached to it. There are some laugh-out-loud moments, including the bickering relationship between beserks Sven (Tim McInnerny) and his father (Charles McKeown), and a Japanese slave master who berates his subjects with racial slurs ("You incomprehensible. horizontal-eyed western trousers wearers/How I abominate your lack of ancestor worship!"). Ultimately, the film is too inconsistent and tonally uneven to work, but go in expecting a handful of laughs and a few famous cameos and you may not be too disappointed.


Directed by: Terry Jones
Starring: Tim Robbins, Mickey Rooney, Eartha Kitt, Terry Jones, Imogen Stubbs, John Cleese
Country: UK/Sweden

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,208: 'John Wick: Chapter 2' (2017)

John Wick was the sleeper hit of 2014, elegantly combining kinetic fist and gun fights, fluid camerawork, and an effective, stoic performance from its lead, Keanu Reeves. There was a beauty in its simplicity: a former assassin grieving over the recent death of his wife gets done over by a small gang of scumbag Russian mobsters, who proceed to beat him to a pulp and kill his dog, and who are soon running for their lives as the slick-suited killing machine routinely takes them out one by one. Animal lovers can breathe easy as no dogs die in this sequel, although the anti-hero has found himself a new four-legged sidekick. The film's surprising success, as well as the shady underground universe it only hinted at, had action fans salivating at the thought of a follow-up.

Fans will be pleased that stuntman-turned-director Chad Stahelski is back at the helm, as is writer Derek Kolstad, who, although obeying the expected rule of sequels by making everything bigger and louder, both ensure that everything that set our pulses racing the first time around is present and suitably breathtaking. Opening with what can only be described as a ballet of fisticuffs and impressive stunt driving, we are instantly on familiar grounds. Having done everything but retrieve his 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1 as he took his vengeance on anybody stupid enough to stand in his way, Wick lays siege to a dingy chop shop ran by Russian Abram Tarasov (Peter Storemare), the brother of Viggo from the first film. With pal Aurelio (John Leguizamo) restoring the classic vehicle, Wick can finally move on with his life. Only clearly somebody hasn't informed him that he's in a sequel. Soon enough, old colleague Santino (Riccardo Scamarcio) is at his door insisting on a favour.

Wick politely refuses, but Santino lays down a marker which symbolises an unbreakable oath. Although they kill mercilessly for a living, these contract killers have a code and a set of rules they must obey under penalty of death. Having left the game, Wick isn't having any of it, but the quick destruction of his home soon has him jetting off to Rome to carry out the job. His target: Santino's sister Gianna (Claudia Gerini), who was chosen by their father to take his place at the high seat of international crime bosses. The organisation of the underground assassins only hinted at previously really opens up in Rome. Met by the boss Julius (Franco Nero), Wick is soon getting fitted for expensive suits and choosing his arsenal with the assistance of Sommerlier (Peter Serafinowicz) for his so-called 'impossible task'. A smooth operation wouldn't make for a particularly exciting time, so Wick quickly finds himself under threat from bodyguard and colleague Cassian (Common), and Santino himself, who wants to leave no loose ends.

John Wick: Chapter 2 could have easily gotten ahead of itself. By opening up what was such a personal and emotional revenge mission last time into a continent-hopping world of hotel safe-houses and spies masquerading as the homeless, this could have become very silly very quickly. Instead, the film hypnotises you by making the action even more bombastic, and infinitely more violent (if you liked The Joker's death-by-pencil in The Dark Knight, just wait for this one). Even when events take strain credibility to the max by introducing the 'Bowery King' (Laurence Fishburne, in a nice reunion with Reeves), a man in charge of a huge network of tramp hitmen, and revealing that a startling number of the general public are in fact one text away from slitting your throat, you'll be too busy admiring the balletic carnage to roll your eyes. The bad guy may be even less interesting than the already-bland big boss from the previous movie and it's lost that element of surprise, but I was ready for part 3 the second the credits started to roll.


Directed by: Chad Stahelski
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ian McShane, Ruby Rose, Common, Laurence Fishburne, Claudia Gerini, Lance Reddick
Country: USA/Hong Kong/Italy/Canada

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,207: 'The Proposal' (2009)

From the opening moments of sitcom-inspired office hi-jinks in this plinky-plonky rom-com, the outcome is never in doubt. When we first glimpse our leads - beautiful people Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds - the inevitability of how this film will leave us is cemented even further. There's a set formula to these kinds of movies, and knows well enough just how the target audience it so aggressively pursues wants to be left feeling. The key to a decent rom-com is having a funny script; one that will have you laughing and hoping the mismatched couple will finally realise their love for one another to care about how predictable the whole things is. Anne Fletcher's The Proposal does none of these things, and instead betrays the likeability of its leads by having little zip, and keeping them apart for what seems like a large chunk of the movie.

Margaret Tate (Bullock) is executive editor-in-chief in a successful New York-based publishing company. She has an icy reputation in the office, and her panicked underlings frequently alert the others of her arrival via group e-mail. Her dedicated but overworked assistant Andrew Paxton (Reyolds) is the only one who tolerates her, and that is because he hopes to win himself a promotion through his loyalty and hard work. Margaret also happens to be Canadian, and after a minor violation of the terms of her work visa, she finds herself facing deportation and without the job she has worked so hard to get. In a panic, she announces that she has been seeing Andrew for the past year and the happy couple are soon to be married, much to Andrew's dismay. Sensing foul play, U.S. immigration agent Mr. Gilbertson (Denis O'Hare) keeps a close watch on them, forcing Margaret to accompany Andrew to a family get-together in Sitka, Alaska.

Despite never really convincing as a couple, and neither really having moments of clarity that will help us understand when the script starts to push the two closer together, the two leads are a joy to watch. Bullock is now a legend of the genre, and Reynolds demonstrates the cheeky charisma he wouldn't be allowed to fully embrace until 2016's Deadpool. It's solid proof that the fault lies with the material they're given. Once in Alaska, The Proposal becomes a sickly loop of increasingly bizarre comedy set-pieces, including a moment where Margaret must fend off an eagle attacking the yappy family dog. It's a sea of white, middle-class faces, and the only person of colour seems to be the Hispanic Ramone (Oscar Nunez) who, in a slight racist twist, works just about every job in town from store-owner to stripper. There's also the dull sub-plot involving Andrew's father (Craig T. Nelson), who wants his son to ditch his New York adventure to join the family business, which exists solely to give Andrew something to do away from Margaret. The stars deserve much better.


Directed by: Anne Fletcher
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Mary Steenburgen, Craig T. Nelson, Betty White, Denis O'Hare, Malin Akerman
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie