Review #1,298: 'The Last Boy Scout' (1991)

Tony Scott's The Last Boy Scout arrived at a time when the macho action thrillers popularised in the 1980's were starting to die out. This, combined with its odd Christmas-time release, meant that the film would go on to underwhelm at the box-office, although it would prove a hit in the rental market and reignite Bruce Willis' action career after the failure of Hudson Hawk. It also took a beating from critics, many voicing their displeasure at the foul-mouthed dialogue and particularly brutal violence. It's a shame really, as looking back, The Last Boy Scout really represents the pinnacle of this overly masculine sub-genre, even though it arrived at a time when audiences were growing tired with it.  Yes, it's preposterous, crude and slightly misogynistic, but it's also funny, clever and features screenwriter Shane Black at his most quotable best.

The movie begins with making a mockery of American Football's televised musical intros, before diving right into the thick of the action on a particularly dark and rainy night. Running back Billy Cole (Tae Bo guru Billy Blanks) is having a great night on the field before outside pressures and a hit of PCP lead him to shoot up half of the opposition before turning the gun on himself. Deadbeat private investigator Joe Hallenback (Bruce Willis) is acting as a bodyguard for young stripper Cory (Halle Berry), whilst dealing with his own marital problems in a cheating wife and brat daughter. When Cory is killed, her boyfriend - disgraced former quarterback Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans) - finds himself reluctantly buddying up with Joe to slowly unravel a conspiracy that may expose corruption on a massive scale, and offer an explanation for Billy Cole's mysterious suicide. Their snooping isn't appreciated however, and they soon find themselves the target of a criminal gang desperate to cover their tracks and see their plan through to the end.

The Last Boy Scout was famously dogged by production problems, where producer Joel Silver was often cited as the cause of it all. Silver and Willis allegedly took over production, forcing Scott to film scenes he didn't approve of and altering Black's script so much that the finally story barely resembled his original idea. Scott would take revenge in his next film True Romance, where the role of a controlling, cocaine-fuelled producer was modelled on Silver. On top of everything else, Willis and Wayans hated each other. Impressively, these troubles somehow can't be seen in the final product. The chemistry between the two leads is one of the movie's strongest suits, and the plot unravels coherently with more car chases and shoot-outs than you could ever hope for. Scott shoots the film with a glossy commercial aesthetic that works well in the context of the tacky world the film is looking to expose. But the real winner here was Black, who pocketed a cool $1.75 million for his efforts after suffering a setback in his personal life. Despite the changes, this still has the writer's fingerprints all over it, even eclipsing what is undoubtedly his most popular work, Lethal Weapon. They just don't make 'em like this anymore.


Directed by: Tony Scott
Starring: Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, Chelsea Field, Noble Willingham, Taylor Negron, Danielle Harris, Halle Berry
Country: USA

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie

Review #1,189: 'The Guyver' (1991)

Very loosely based on the Japanese manga of the same name by Yoshiki Takaya, The Guyver, also known as Mutronics in Europe, is one of those little oddities you may have caught on late-night TV when you were younger and loved, only to realise it's rather terrible when viewed again through more mature goggles. Directed by special effects maestros Screaming Mad George (Bride of Re-Animator) and Steve Wang (Hell Comes to Frogtown), produced by B-movie favourite Brian Yuzna, and co-starring Re-Animator alumni David Gale and Jeffrey Combs, The Guyver is custom-made to be an exploitation enthusiast's wet-dream. Yet, despite the wealth of rubber-suited monsters on show, it's really rather rubbish, but as rubbish goes, it certainly passes the time.

An opening scroll, which goes on for far too long, informs us that humans were created by ancient aliens who implanted a special gene into a select few which enables the host to transform into a hideous monster at will, known as 'Zoanoids'. These evil creatures now run a powerful organisation called Chronos, and are studying an artefact called the Guyver; a special device which can empower the possessor with organic armour and superpowers. Concerned about the power it will grant the monsters should they learn how to use it, a scientist within the corporation, Dr. Segawa (Greg Joung Paik), steals the device with the aim of passing it on to gruff cop Max (Mark Hamill). The doctor is murdered, but not before hiding the Guyver away. When Segawa's daughter Mizky (Vivian Wu) is informed, her goofball boyfriend Sean (Jack Armstrong) follows her to the crime scene, only to become the unwilling wielder of the Guyver's magic.

I almost wished I like The Guyver more, as it's clearly made by artists who understand why people love these kinds of films. Mad George and Wang make sure that we see the costumes and make-up in their full glory, rather than just glimpsed in shadows, but the fight scenes seem to go on forever. They are so clumsily choreographed - lots of punches and kicks that seem to inflict no damage - that it often feels like a slightly more violent episode of the original Power Rangers show. There is also the issue of the horrible humour, featuring one racial stereotype prone to outbursts of rap, played earnestly by '70s TV star Jimmie Walker. If you are looking for an adaptation that does justice to the mythology of the manga on which it is based, then you'll be completely underwhelmed. If you're a fan of low-budget trash, then there are plenty of familiar faces (including Michael Berryman in a prominent role) and fan-service to tide you over.

Directed by: Screaming Mad George, Steve Wang

Starring: Jack Armstrong, Mark Hamill, Vivian Wu, David Gale, Michael Berryman, Jimmie Walker, Jeffrey Combs

Country: USA/Japan

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #962: 'Critters 3' (1991)

Shot back-to-back with Critters 4, this third instalment of the relatively successful comedy-horror series featuring the oddly cute but deadly crites was the first to skip theatres and arrive straight to video. The movie starts as widowed father Clifford (John Calvin), his daughter Annie (Aimee Brooks) and son Johnny (Christian and Joseph Cousins) drive home from their family vacation. When they are forced to pull over due to a flat tire, Annie and Johnny head to a rest stop to play a bit of Frisbee, where they encounter Josh (Leonardo DiCaprio), a floppy-haired cool-kid with an arsehole of a stepfather (William Dennis Hunter), who just so happens to be the landlord of the family. While stationed there, they encounter alien bounty hunter Charlie (Don Keith Opper) who warns the children of another crite invasion.

After a summary of the previous two movies by the former Grover's Bend sheriff-turned-intergalactic alien killer, the family arrive at their apartment building where a collection of comedy archetypes reside. Some eggs hatch and the usual havoc ensues as the new collection of furry killers travel from floor to floor munching anything they can get their teeth into. The action stops at the apartment building once we arrive there and this is where the budget constraints become obvious. Not that the Critters franchise was ever blessed with innovative special effects or puppet-work, but things seem especially lazy and poorly done here.

With everything taking place in one location, we are forced to sit through set-piece after set-piece, as the crites do little but bounce or roll to the next attack and use their poisoned darts to varying degrees of success, usually depending on who they're shooting at. The attempts are humour are childish, with one of the few interesting characters - no-nonsense maintenance lady Marcia (Katherine Cortez) - left literally swinging from a wire for an extended amount of time in a running joke that quickly wears thin. Similar to Gremlins (1984), there is an attempt to give the critters some kind of personality, but they prove as indistinguishable from one another as they have previously. Worth watching only for the curiosity of seeing future A-lister Leonardo DiCaprio in one of his earliest appearances.


Directed by: Kristine Peterson
Starring: Aimee Brooks, John Calvin, Leonardo DiCaprio, Don Keith Opper
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #895: 'The People Under the Stairs' (1991)

Poindexter 'Fool' Williams (Brandon Quintin Adams) is a kid from a poor black neighbourhood with a terminally ill mother and whose family are facing imminent eviction from their run-down apartment. His mother's disease is operable, but they do not have the funds to pay for her treatment, nor can they afford the extortionate rent set by their greedy landlords the Robesons (Twin Peaks' Wendy Robie and Everett McGill). Fool's criminal 'friend' Leroy (Ving Rhames) suggest that they break into the Robesons rich suburban home to steal the store of loot rumoured to be hoarded somewhere in the house. Once inside, they find themselves facing angry dogs and a bunch of cannibalistic freaks in the basement.

Although packaged and labelled as a horror and helmed by genre legend Wes Craven, The People Under the Stairs feels more akin to a boy's adventure movie, specifically those that emerged in the 1980's with children as their protagonists. The tone is often light-hearted and playful, with Fool playing the role of terrified but gadget-savvy child. Adams thankfully keep the levels of precociousness to a minimum, so we can cheer him on while he dodges the shotgun blasts from the insane Robesons, who refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy while they are actually brother and sister. They keep their only daughter Alice (A.J. Langer) under a strict, watchful eye, so she proves to be valuable to asset to Fool once he befriends her.

The lurking creatures under the stairs scowl and grab but do little else. Anyone hoping for a twisted, incestuous gore-fest like the title and presence of the director's name may suggest will be disappointed, for this is relatively mild stuff for the most part, and it does feel like an opportunity was missed somewhat. The 100 minute running-time drags towards the end, with various false climaxes stretching the patience. But for the most part, this is entertaining fluff, with Craven managing to squeeze some excitement out of every tiny crevice of the setting, and there's even a bit of social commentary in there somewhere.


Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Brandon Quintin Adams, Everett McGill, Wendy Robie, A.J. Langer, Ving Rhames
Country: USA

Rating: ***

Tom Gillespie

Review #525: 'Showdown in Little Tokyo' (1991)

L.A. cop Chris Kenner (Dolph Lundgren) styles himself as a modern-day samurai. He was raised in Japan, making him an expert in their culture, and as a child he witnessed the murder of his parents by a sword-wielding man with a tattoo on his chest. He is partnered with Johnny Murata (Brandon Lee), an American of Japanese descent who is ignorant of his own roots. The two only seem to have one thing in common - martial arts of course! After an incident in a restaurant, Kenner notices that the criminal shares the same tattoo as the person who murdered his parents, a symbol of the Iron Claw, a yakuza gang. The trail leads him to Yoshida (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), a psychopathic gang leader who is using a local factory to manufacture his drugs.

Of all the muscle men that came out of the 80's and prevailed throughout the 90's - Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Seagal, Van Damme, and even Norris - retrospectively, poor old Dolph seems to have come out the worst, leaving no memorable or even so-bad-they're-good films in his wake. With the exception of his minor role in Rocky IV (1985), this forgettable, but ultra-violent 72-minute bullet-a-thon, seems to be his most significant - even if it is a ludicrous, logic-defying, cheddar-stained, homoerotic journey that quite beggars belief in its inept execution. It did, however, make me smile throughout, as its racial stereotyping and quite abominable acting from Brandon Lee raises it slightly above the usual straight-to-video tripe.

In a decade that perceived itself at the time as very manly and right-wing (a reflection of Reagan-era America no doubt), it is easy to look back on it and see it as being ever so slightly gay. After all, the stars of the era were shaved muscle-men Adonis's in tight vests and soaked in oil, and the massive guns the era so dearly loved were really just an extension of the wielder's cock. Never has action been so homoerotic as in Showdown, with Murata's strange quips at Kenner frequently elevating the right eyebrow. The greatest scene takes place after Lundgren has just boned Minako (Tia Carrere) after lying naked in an outside bath, when Yoshida's men surround the house. Guns a-cocked, Murata turns to Kenner and says "I just wanna say, you got the biggest dick I've ever seen!". His response? "Thanks!" Hmm...

But the bromance aside, the film is relentless. As Kenner seems to never been taught how to for call back-up, it is basically one action scene after next, as the idiotic partners seem to be intent on taking on an army of yakuza's single-handedly, with Yoshida naturally managing to escape every time. It would be harsh to call the action dull (the film manages to squeeze in a decapitation and a close-up underwater stabbing), it's nothing you can't get from any of Seagal or Van Damme's straight-to-video crap. Tagawa does prove to be quite memorable though, as his outlandishly sadistic evil is almost funny, his face like an angry prune spawned from Satan. It's a steaming pile of turd, but I've seen worse (there is a compliment in there somewhere).


Directed by: Mark L. Lester
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Brandon Lee, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Tia Carrere
Country: USA

Rating: **

Tom Gillespie

Review #387: 'Suburban Commando' (1991)

During the early 1990's (when I was just a young 'un), I grew up amidst the colossal popularity of the WWF and its host of superstars. The likes of Hulk Hogan, The Undertaker, Bret 'The Hitman' Hart and Ultimate Warrior were household names amongst snotty nosed kids such as myself. The idea of burly men dressing up in spandex pretending to hit each other never really appealed to me (I was too busy mentally scarring my young brain watching the likes of Watership Down (1978) for all that), yet I still found myself buying the action figures and playing the computer games. Naturally, the success of wrestling during that era led to many of its stars taking the next step into movies, rather than playing to a live crowd in a ring. Unfortunately, due to the obvious limitations of their acting abilities, they found themselves primarily in kids' movies, and this monstrosity is probably, and tragically, one of the best remembered.

Space warrior Shep Ramsey (Hulk Hogan) escapes from an enemy ship after seeing his commander killed at the hands of intergalactic villain General Suitor (William Ball). Due to his failure on the mission, he is sent on vacation to rest and re-charge, and he is forced to crash-land on Earth after destroying his controls. Shep ends up staying with strapped-for-cash Charlie Wilcox (Christopher Lloyd) and his family, and naturally, the two learn many life lessons from each other. Only two bounty hunters (one played by fellow WWF star The Undertaker) are in pursuit of Shep, and Charlie unwittingly finds himself caught up in an intergalactic battle. 

Even as a kid I found this film to be a steaming pile of turd, but still found myself drawn to it for some reason. Upon re-watching it, my memories were confirmed, and discovered that this is indeed awful, and would attract flies if left out in the open. The opening 45 minutes are so are just a bunch of small-scale set-pieces that highlight Shep's physical superiority over the Earthlings, that are neither funny, sweet or original. The main problem with the film is that it simply defies logic and thought, I mean, how would a space warrior who deals with hi-tech gadgetry and space-ships on a daily basis be so confused into thinking a video game he's playing is really happening? "I hate Earthlings!", Shep repeatedly tells us. Strange that, given that he looks and acts like one, speaks English, and even has an American name. Bull-shit on a large scale, only slightly redeeming itself with the presence of Christopher Lloyd. People will say that maybe I should just take the film what it is, but I will argue and say that I am - a fucking catastrophe. 

Directed by: Burt Kennedy

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, Shelley Duvall, Larry Miller

Country: USA

Rating: *

Tom Gillespie

Review #64: 'Only Yesterday' (1991)

A significant stepping stone in the progression of anime (or even in animation as a whole), Only Yesterday is the fifth film produced by Studio Ghibli. In a genre that usually consisted of either very adult themed comic book adaptations or hyper-kinetic action cartoons for children, Only Yesterday's gentle tone and mature themes struck well with audiences back in 1991, and the film proved a surprise box-office success.

Jumping back and forth in time, the film tells the story of Taeko, who in the modern-day, is a daydreaming office worker who travels back to her home town and falls in love with the peaceful agricultural trade ran by her cousin, and in the past, was a slightly spoilt, selfish child. Taeko looks back on her time at school, starting to have an interest in boys, her relationship with her family, and, in the most surprisingly comic scenes, starting puberty. Whilst farming in Yagamata, and falling in love with the landscape, she wrestles with her childhood self, and begins to wonder if she has lived up to what the child in her expected.

Directed by Isao Takahata, the second most prolific of the Ghibli directors (behind Hayao Miyazaki), the film has a beautifully nostalgic and melancholy tone. Similar to his earlier masterpiece (and in my opinion, the great of the Ghibli films) Grave Of The Fireflies (1988), the film manages to tenderly tug at the heartstrings, without coming across as sentimental or cloying. There are themes that other animation studios would not dare to go near. When Taeko and the other girls at school find out about periods for the first time, one of the girls tells the boys, and chaos soon follows. It becomes a craze for the boys to look up girls' skirts and shout 'she's got her period!'. It's a scene that if mishandled may have come across as strange and inappropriate, but it is extremely funny, and perfectly captures the innocent immaturity and curiosity of the age.

When Taeko first comes across the boy who likes her, she stands there frozen while he thinks of something to say. He asks her an almost inappropriately random question, which she ponders and then answers. The boy runs away skipping and singing, happy he's had the nerve take the step and talk to Taeko. It's a beautifully handled scene, and brims with the kind of emotions and tension that is attempted but ultimately mishandled by many a romantic-comedy. (That observation was made by my girlfriend Stacy, I have to add!)

When in the modern-day, admittedly the film does sometimes grind to a halt. While scenes of Taeko farming and admiring the scenery and general peacefulness of her new existence is beautifully drawn, and often profoundly moving, it does not make for exciting viewing. The scenes in her childhood have a gentle playfulness and sense of humour which brought me back to my childhood, where I was joyfully ignorant of the pressures of life, and frequently curious about those ever-increasing hormones. A rather wonderful film with Ghibli's usual beautiful animation and moving execution of its themes.


Directed by: Isao Takahata
Voices: Miki Imai, Toshirô Yanagiba, Youko Honna
Country: Japan

Rating: ****

Tom Gillespie